A Musing Mother 6

 Everybody knows that Christmas is about keeping the Santa Secret and pleasing your children. Therefore, the most dreaded words are uttered on Christmas Eve. "I changed my mind, I want a [pony, scooter, bike, Red Rider BB gun]" A close second place winner is, "Can I have a New Year's Eve party?" Then, "Me, too?"

Two kids had parties or lateovers on Saturday. Two kids - the imaginative ones - were home alone. I received a call from the 14 year old who sweetly asked me if she could give me an early Christmas present and when would I be home. Here's what she had to offer. I'd opened the present 2 minutes before so I'd already enjoyed the gift.

Sometimes my brilliance blinds me! Speaking of brilliance, before we continue this discussion, if you are my mother in law, stop reading. Walk away. At least until after Christmas. Seriously. My own mother doesn't read my blog. I think it has something to do with words like "socially awkward" and "mortifying." She knows me. She doesn't have to read about me. She can just pretend like I turned out normal. Anyway, if the mother-in-law has exited the website, check out what she's getting for Christmas! TADA! I'd like to give a special shout out to the internet and whatever site I was cruising through last week for planting this idea into my head. Usually not this creative and I definitely don't know where I got the energy to take the kids out for pictures. Or go to Walmart for the frame. And Robert's for the mat. Costco for the pictures.  Yeah, I painted the frame, too. So not my style. Anymore. I also ordered a canvas print for my husband but I

I have a muffin top. I swallow pride to make that statement but I sunk to a new low earlier this week when I realized I am four years from having a colonoscopy, based on AMA recommendations. I don't love my muffin top, although I believe it should be worn like a badge of honor. According to my source (Chicktionary, Lefler), muffin tops are defined as such: Muffin tops, noun : Irresistibly attractive yet widely misunderstood "dunes of delight" that can be found nestled above the waistbands of virtually every woman of healthy weight in the continental United States. (At least, the ones you would want to be friends with.) The presence of muffin tops has been positively correlated with such attributes as superior intellect, exquisite fashion sensibility, and shiny, manageable hair. Named for the portion of a muffin that bulges over the top of a muffin pan during baking, it is said that some muffin tops actually do emit the aroma of freshly baked bread.  Still, I'm follow

A couple of days ago, my dad came over to my house just as a new gadget arrived at my doorstep. It's a thingermabobber I can attach to my television and stream Netflix without a Wii (which is downstairs) and Pandora and other crap. My dad sat comfortably on my sofa and watched me attach the HDMI cable (which I already had since it didn't come with the cable, of course) to the television and gadget, plugged it in then programmed the gadget via ONE MORE REMOTE and my computer. When I finished, I stepped back and said to my dad, "Do you remember when you walked over to the television, turned it on, turned a knob and chose the channel (out of 6 options) and sat down to watch TV?" That was it. He told me he remembered when his parents first bought a radio that was the size of my big leather chair. They turned it on for the first time and heard President Franklin D. Roosevelt announcing the bombing of Pearl Harbor and calling it "a day that will live in infamy." M

A friend of mine commented that she doesn't know how I do what I do; work, have four children, read, blog, dance, keep house, keep everybody in clean underwear, etc. I started thinking about this decided it is high time we, women crack open the myth that we can do everything and still maintain a semblance of sanity and your next door neighbor, who you are comparing yourself to, isn't doing it all, either. So I've compiled a list that sums up a few ideas of how to survive as a working mother. Actually, I think it applies to any mother, working outside the home or not. The bottom line is 1) Lower your expectations and 2) Simplify. I don't do all of these but they are wonderful thoughts and ideas. Here are a few: Use Costco. Orange chicken cooks up in under 15 minutes then add rice and a side of green beans. Truth? I cook up orange chicken and figure the orange is the fruit/vegetable and the breading is the grain. Dinner? Done.  Buy in bulk. If something is on sale, buy as

Tell us the story of how your pet came to be a member of your family. I know, I know, I posted it before but I think it bears reminding ourselves that stupid dogs make us swear. No, that isn't what the message is (although they do) but hang in there. It will get better. How Sunday, whose birthday happens to be today, joined our crew: I have been thinking about an experience all day and feel that I need to share it. For what purpose and for whom, I don't know, but it's been on my mind. Perhaps it was remembering while driving to work this morning or maybe it was the conversation I had with an old friend later today as she shared with me her very real and difficult struggles. Five years ago, our old dog, Maggie, died of old age. It was a sad day for all of us. We cried until our eyes were swollen. We planned on getting another dog after an appropriate grieving period. Instead, our lives were turned upside down with events we couldn't control. We went through a very, very