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Showing posts from April, 2014

It Could Have Been Avoided if She Had Her Dance Shoes

To further strengthen my stance on carrying your leather soled dance shoes in your purse, I have included a video clip from a security camera taken at a nearby junior high. A girl walked into the office and put her foot up on the desk while commenting how flexible she is. Grace, the office aide, decided to show how flexible she is, too. She stepped out and did a high kick. What happened next wouldn't have happened had she had on her dance shoes. I'm just sayin'.
I took the girls shopping on Saturday to buy Easter dresses. I never go to the mall so it was a transition for me to be among the mall set. My Saturdays are typically spent at Costco, the grocery store, or Home Depot. We found some dresses for the girls and I tried on a couple that looked almost good on me. I'm adjusting to my middle age acceptance but as I stood evaluating myself in the mirror, I realized that I needed a bra. A good bra. So we dragged the girls with me to Victoria's Secret. Right before entering the store, Alyssa mumbled, "This store makes me so uncomfortable." The moment I walked in, my purse strap snagged on a rack and I pulled the rack partly over before catching it. Fortunately, there was a Victoria's Secret Associate to greet us and she grabbed it, too. "Oh! Look at that! We have the store booby-trapped!" I snickered. I turned to my daughters who were already taking retreating steps. "She said 'booby.'" My older

What I Forgot to Tell My Son

My sister-in-law gave birth to her second son two weeks ago. My 14 year old son and 16 year old daughter drove to the hospital to see him. Leila had just sent him back to the nursery and I'm so bossy I told her to get him back so I can bother him. She did. He was brought in with his eyes wide open and alert. I immediately fell in love with him. Not to boast or anything (I'm totally boasting), I had two babies that came out looking like a cookie cutter version of this one. Minus the Republic of Georgia pigmentation. That Taylor DNA is very strong. Leila was slightly high on Percocet and was absolutely hilarious. She informed us that little Niko had been sleeping all day because he'd been circumcised. Jacob looked up from holding him and asked, "What is 'circumcised'?" I suddenly felt like a failure of a mother. Leila laughingly informed him that it means that he'd had his Brit Malah. Jacob looked even more confused so I clarified it for him by calling h