Skip to main content

What I Forgot to Tell My Son

My sister-in-law gave birth to her second son two weeks ago. My 14 year old son and 16 year old daughter drove to the hospital to see him. Leila had just sent him back to the nursery and I'm so bossy I told her to get him back so I can bother him. She did. He was brought in with his eyes wide open and alert.

I immediately fell in love with him.
Not to boast or anything (I'm totally boasting), I had two babies that came out looking like a cookie cutter version of this one. Minus the Republic of Georgia pigmentation. That Taylor DNA is very strong.

Leila was slightly high on Percocet and was absolutely hilarious. She informed us that little Niko had been sleeping all day because he'd been circumcised. Jacob looked up from holding him and asked, "What is 'circumcised'?" I suddenly felt like a failure of a mother. Leila laughingly informed him that it means that he'd had his Brit Malah. Jacob looked even more confused so I clarified it for him by calling him "Yaakov" and asking him if knew he used to have more skin on his. . . He somehow intuited I was going to say something offensive and placed his hands firmly on his ears while singing loudly, "La! La! La! La!"

None of us are Jewish but Leila is from the country of Georgia where she was a practicing member of a Christian Orthodox congregation. They stand for three hours or more for their services which is why she boasts about her freakishly strong legs. For the record, Leila has only recently started shopping in the junior department in stores. She graduated from the children's department. I kid not. 

Leila and I reminisced on Niko's brother's baptism which I had no forewarning of the ritual. I watched, fascinated, while Father Justin chanted, lit incense, had the godparents spit over the banister to ward off evil, and reminded Leila how Luka cried and cried throughout the ceremony. Right until he fell asleep in his godmother's arms. Which was just about the time he was undressed, the baptistry was uncovered, and Luka was baptised by immersion. I was not expecting him to be immersed three times. Luka was not expecting it, either. He was just about the cutest, angriest 6 week old I'd ever seen. I really, really, really hope we are invited again to the baptism. There is nothing cuter than a naked, indignant baby with fuzzy hair.

On the way out to the car and on the elevator, I explained to Jacob what circumcision involves. He turned green at the gills and was every bit as indignant as his cousin had been in the church. I wished I had a a camera to record his expression and the way he stomped out of the elevator exclaiming, "I thought I was BORN this way!"

Nice outburst. I wonder what the people in the lobby thought as I gave an apologetic grin and wave and ran out the door.

Another glaring example of how I have ruined my son's childhood.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Braces!

13 year old got braces today! She also had a little helper on her.

They Call Me Grace

I was nearly 8 years old when my baby sister was born. This was quite fortunate since I was well adept at reading. I was tired of my name. Nancy. So plain. The Sunday comics included a comic strip called Nancy. She hung out with her stupid little boyfriend named Russell, was very boring and cried all the time. Why would parents who love their child name her such a boring name? I assumed they had run out of originality by this point. I was, after all, their third child. There was Mike, then Suzy, after me they had Joey (short for Joanne) and finally Jene Marie. The "j" a soft French slur. It was fitting. We had a French surname. But clearly Jene Marie was their crowning glory. Do I hate for taking all the love from my parents and hogging it for herself? Of course not. She's my sister. She's my baby sister. But if I happen to feel the need to speak to her when she's at work, I always ask for her by using both names; Jene Marie (with the schwa). I don't want her...

I am being published!

I know! It just reeks of excitement, doesn't it?  I know what you are thinking. "Who would publish that woman's thoughts?" The answer is a lovely little outfit called www.blog2print.com. In other words, I haven't been discovered. I am no closer to being a published author than I was yesterday EXCEPT that by Christmas I will be the proud owner of my very own blog book! I know. It's a little anticlimactic but here's the cool part. My friend, Becki, found me entertaining and directed me to a blog called www.josikilpack.blogspot.com.  She posted a little coupon code for 20% off which was supposed to end last week. Apparently, the code is still good and I saved $14. That said, you know it isn't exactly the cheapest way to get published but it's the best price I could find on publishing my blog!  And it requires very little technical know-how.  And that, my friends, tickles my heart. And, for a small price of your integrity and dignity, I will share the ...