The big Game is tomorrow; University of Utah vs. BYU. By far, we are Cougars however, there is an Aggie living in this house. As Dad indoctrinates the truthfulness of being a BYU fan, Mom is quietly sabotaging by explaining the beauty of being a Utah State fan. Today the grade school had a day to show their colors - red or blue. My #2 had this idea. She is now my favorite child (sorry #1, #3, and #4).
Going through old files from graduate school, I found an invaluable pamphlet. Be a Dedicated Neurotic Remember the Past. . . and Regret it. Abhor the Present. Dread the Future. 1. Become preoccupied with the body, and make a long list of symptoms. Make them sound very clinical and professional... 2. BLAME your boss, your spouse, your partner, your neighbor, your kid. THEY are responsible for your miseries. 3. Feel trapped. You couldn't possibly declare your own independence without hurting someone's feelings. 4. Overeat. Rationalize and eat! Eat an insulated wall around yourself. Diet for a few days and say it doesn't work for you. 5. Self-pity. No matter what, feel sorry for yourself. Agonize over things about which no one cares. 6. Don't ever try. That way nobody can really accuse you of failure. You can always say, "But I could have done it." 7. Stress how shy you are. Insist that the world must come to you. You're special. 8. Your agg...
What a clever girl!! (Conflicted, confused, and delusional, but clever!)
ReplyDeleteIf you are secretly taking a side then technically you are not Switzerland however I am with you 100% on this one as I am NOT a BYU fan and never had been, that child would be my favorite too ha ha!
ReplyDeleteerin, of course she is Conflicted, confused, and delusional,look who her mother is...just kidding Nancy
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