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Irony

Last Halloween someone who was clearly far too concerned about plaque, gave out spider rings instead of the usual Costco candy. Although well intentioned, I'm sure, the ring has been kicking around the property for the past 5 months. It has mostly been ignored until the three year old suddenly developed arachnophobia last week. He saw it on the van floor and screamed. I picked it up, held it away from him, showed him it was a ring then tossed it aside. He hasn't forgotten it and now he sees bugs in everything. He's terrified there are bugs in Girl Scout cookies which suits me just fine. More for me.

Yesterday while driving children to school he started whimpering, "I'm scared of the spider!"

"What spider?" I asked.

"The one in my car seat," he whimpered back while trying to not let his back touch the car seat to which he was securely buckled against. I pulled over, took him out, and we examined what was on the car seat.

"See? Nothing here but old bread crumbs from your toast today. And yesterday. And the day before. And last week." I also explained that bugs are still asleep because it's winter. When the bugs wake up in the spring, I will have a guy come and spray the house and garage. He then insisted that winter is over and spring is here. A valid argument given the weather yesterday. I had scheduled the bug spray company to come the first week of April which I thought was a little early but that's when they had open.

That night during dinner, my 11 year old daughter announced that there was a bug in the butter. Our first fruit fly met its demise by announcing himself and spring by flying into the butter.

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