I lied to my son today. To perpetuate the lie, I encouraged the older children to build on the lie. I'm very conflicted as to what kind of parent I am.
Is Santa Claus real? Yes. An acceptable answer.
Where do babies come from? Costco, until you are older. Another acceptable answer.
My lie was the lie that makes up a bad horror movie and gives children nightmares. But somehow I feel justified. Thou shalt not bear false witness - unless your child is in peril, right?
Yesterday was my dad's 74th birthday. We marked it by having a small party including all the family members. Lost in the crowd were two little boys; my own 4 year old and my sister's nearly 3 year old. My parents property abuts to an empty field which backs up to a canal. Although it is fenced, there are ways for little boys to get to the canal. Just as the two boys were to exit the grandparents' property, they were stopped by an uncle and asked where they were going.
"To the canal." They both replied. When Uncle Shawn explained they might fall in, they both denied the possibility of falling and pointed at the other boy, indicated that he might fall in. They were redirected and told to not go to the canal without a parent. This uncle then came and told the respective parents. Both mothers carefully took their boys out to where the grass ends and explained they don't go past the grass and trees. My boy, who was born with an extra dose of precociousness, kept asking "why." I carefully explained the dangers of the canal, drowning, death, and overall tragedy. I then explained that the closest he will get to the canal is when we drive over it when we go home.
Next thing I know, he is asking all the grownups to drive him to the canal so he can see it. When there were no takers, he went to the van and waited for one of us to take him.
Just. Didn't. Get. It.
Today my sister told me that she made up a story for her son that could possibly be true. There are snakes, spiders, and mice in the field. It is a possible and probable story. He was appropriately frightened. I tried it out my little guy.
"Can we go see them? Are they big or little? What color are they? How many are they?" This is where I decided that reasoning with a little boy is not always possible. And so I lied.
I told him that the real reason he can't go to the canal is that there are monster snakes in the field. They are very, very big and have great big teeth. Their favorite food to eat is little boys. They tear off their arms and legs one at a time and crush them in their giant teeth. The little boys scream and cry but their parents can't save them.
"Now do you want to go to the canal?" I asked.
"No," he finally answered.
******************************************************
What lies have you told all in the name of safety or sanity?
Is Santa Claus real? Yes. An acceptable answer.
Where do babies come from? Costco, until you are older. Another acceptable answer.
My lie was the lie that makes up a bad horror movie and gives children nightmares. But somehow I feel justified. Thou shalt not bear false witness - unless your child is in peril, right?
Yesterday was my dad's 74th birthday. We marked it by having a small party including all the family members. Lost in the crowd were two little boys; my own 4 year old and my sister's nearly 3 year old. My parents property abuts to an empty field which backs up to a canal. Although it is fenced, there are ways for little boys to get to the canal. Just as the two boys were to exit the grandparents' property, they were stopped by an uncle and asked where they were going.
"To the canal." They both replied. When Uncle Shawn explained they might fall in, they both denied the possibility of falling and pointed at the other boy, indicated that he might fall in. They were redirected and told to not go to the canal without a parent. This uncle then came and told the respective parents. Both mothers carefully took their boys out to where the grass ends and explained they don't go past the grass and trees. My boy, who was born with an extra dose of precociousness, kept asking "why." I carefully explained the dangers of the canal, drowning, death, and overall tragedy. I then explained that the closest he will get to the canal is when we drive over it when we go home.
Next thing I know, he is asking all the grownups to drive him to the canal so he can see it. When there were no takers, he went to the van and waited for one of us to take him.
Just. Didn't. Get. It.
Today my sister told me that she made up a story for her son that could possibly be true. There are snakes, spiders, and mice in the field. It is a possible and probable story. He was appropriately frightened. I tried it out my little guy.
"Can we go see them? Are they big or little? What color are they? How many are they?" This is where I decided that reasoning with a little boy is not always possible. And so I lied.
I told him that the real reason he can't go to the canal is that there are monster snakes in the field. They are very, very big and have great big teeth. Their favorite food to eat is little boys. They tear off their arms and legs one at a time and crush them in their giant teeth. The little boys scream and cry but their parents can't save them.
"Now do you want to go to the canal?" I asked.
"No," he finally answered.
******************************************************
What lies have you told all in the name of safety or sanity?
Oh those little lies....
ReplyDeleteI believe they are justified if children are in danger or I am just plain out of answers!
oh I haven't had to lie much yet, but I did tell my girls the other day while we were eating that the police officer that had just walked in was there to take them to jail the very next time they screamed. I worked for about 5 minutes.
ReplyDeleteBahahahahaha! You had to get creative with that one! Love that your son is so adventurous.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I love your creativeness. For peace on our 30 minute drive to and from church each Sunday I told my kids that the addakys would get them if they were not quiet. Addakys are creatures with suction cups that attach to your car as you drive through addaky gulch. They will get into the inside of the car if they hear children fighting. My oldest believed me for about 5 minutes. Her younger brother believed me the whole time we drove that route and still laughs about the story. This happened after said sister threw one of said brother's Sunday socks (of which we had only one pair and we lived 100 miles from any store that sold Sunday socks)out the window and into the San Juan river. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
ReplyDelete"We can't stop at the library right now because the books are sleeping." (He was clearly in danger of learning to read.)
ReplyDelete"If you tease the dog wth your food, she will think your food and eat you and then we will have to giver away." My latest and famous little white lie. IN my defense it worked.
ReplyDeleteNacny --your the best writer.
LOVE IT.
ReplyDeleteMy son "lost" his bottle. We tried the take-it-away thing. Nightmare. But after he survived a real lost sippy cup, inspiration hit that he understood "lost" and would cope with the lost bottle better than "bye-bye bottle."
I hope he doesn't resent it when he finds out someday. I resented my mom for years for lying to me about moving when I was four.