Going through old files from graduate school, I found an invaluable pamphlet. Be a Dedicated Neurotic Remember the Past. . . and Regret it. Abhor the Present. Dread the Future. 1. Become preoccupied with the body, and make a long list of symptoms. Make them sound very clinical and professional... 2. BLAME your boss, your spouse, your partner, your neighbor, your kid. THEY are responsible for your miseries. 3. Feel trapped. You couldn't possibly declare your own independence without hurting someone's feelings. 4. Overeat. Rationalize and eat! Eat an insulated wall around yourself. Diet for a few days and say it doesn't work for you. 5. Self-pity. No matter what, feel sorry for yourself. Agonize over things about which no one cares. 6. Don't ever try. That way nobody can really accuse you of failure. You can always say, "But I could have done it." 7. Stress how shy you are. Insist that the world must come to you. You're special. 8. Your agg...
Bahahahahaha! Poor guy, doesn't stand a chance against a hormonal teenage girl.
ReplyDeleteLove this.
ReplyDeleteLooks similar to my brain but my stick is a lot wider.
Don't you just love kids?
ReplyDeleteVery funny! Just like something my 11 yr old would do to her sister! I'd better not let them read your blog or they may start getting ideas...
ReplyDeleteSo my little one who has 4 older sisters is in for it huh??
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