Sunday is a day of rest. NOT!
I decided to share some really (cough) fun games we play on Sunday. These games start with all six members of my family filing into the chapel for church and sitting down. Every person has enough space. Our hair is combed and shirts are tucked in. We start out smiling.
Musical Chairs: Before the opening hymn, we have our places. Somewhere during the meeting, my four year old son hijacks my seat at least twice. There are two moves. The 11 year old girl gets her feelings hurt by the teenager so we switch places. Someone starts fighting. Another move. Every so often someone needs to be taken out and sit to "think about what you have done." I honestly don't remember being in the same seat I started with at church. Ever.
Undress Mom: Oh, yes, this is a real game. 4 year old boys are fascinated with buttons. If I am not paying very close attention, my shirt can be open to my belly button in no time at all. All of the children like my watch and ring. These are often removed during services. When I had smaller children, my shoes were taken quite frequently.
Note to self: Never wear that trendy but popular (from 1998) wraparound skirt to church again. Members of the congregation have seen more leg than they needed to.
Dogpile: One parent somehow attracts all of the children. With two thighs, a parent can reasonably hold two children. Three if they are small. The larger children drape themselves over said parent.
Hide and Seek: This game is pretty straight forward. The child hides under the bench or chairs and crawls either backward or forward where unsuspecting members of the congregation let out a yelp of surprise when sticky fingers grab their ankles. This saves the parent from having to actively seek.
Tag: The child runs up to the pulpit/choir seats, screeching with glee all the way while the parents play "Rock, Paper, Scissors" to see who will be the humiliated parent to retrieve said child.
This has never happened to me.
Disappearing Act: This game starts at the very moment of the closing prayer's "Amen." Before I open my eyes, my family has disappeared to their respective classes. I am sitting alone, surrounded by pages from a coloring book, assorted crayons and other writing utensils, a matchbox car or two, programs, and other artwork. Usually someone has forgotten their scriptures. I then get to sort through the rubble and decide what is garbage and what is not. It's not as bad as it sounds. I have a lot of company. Other moms and dads are doing the same thing. We often hold up a toy or crayon that doesn't look familiar and ask the closest parent, "Is this yours." Lots of fun.
That's all I have. What games do you play?
I decided to share some really (cough) fun games we play on Sunday. These games start with all six members of my family filing into the chapel for church and sitting down. Every person has enough space. Our hair is combed and shirts are tucked in. We start out smiling.
Musical Chairs: Before the opening hymn, we have our places. Somewhere during the meeting, my four year old son hijacks my seat at least twice. There are two moves. The 11 year old girl gets her feelings hurt by the teenager so we switch places. Someone starts fighting. Another move. Every so often someone needs to be taken out and sit to "think about what you have done." I honestly don't remember being in the same seat I started with at church. Ever.
Undress Mom: Oh, yes, this is a real game. 4 year old boys are fascinated with buttons. If I am not paying very close attention, my shirt can be open to my belly button in no time at all. All of the children like my watch and ring. These are often removed during services. When I had smaller children, my shoes were taken quite frequently.
Note to self: Never wear that trendy but popular (from 1998) wraparound skirt to church again. Members of the congregation have seen more leg than they needed to.
Dogpile: One parent somehow attracts all of the children. With two thighs, a parent can reasonably hold two children. Three if they are small. The larger children drape themselves over said parent.
Hide and Seek: This game is pretty straight forward. The child hides under the bench or chairs and crawls either backward or forward where unsuspecting members of the congregation let out a yelp of surprise when sticky fingers grab their ankles. This saves the parent from having to actively seek.
Tag: The child runs up to the pulpit/choir seats, screeching with glee all the way while the parents play "Rock, Paper, Scissors" to see who will be the humiliated parent to retrieve said child.
This has never happened to me.
Disappearing Act: This game starts at the very moment of the closing prayer's "Amen." Before I open my eyes, my family has disappeared to their respective classes. I am sitting alone, surrounded by pages from a coloring book, assorted crayons and other writing utensils, a matchbox car or two, programs, and other artwork. Usually someone has forgotten their scriptures. I then get to sort through the rubble and decide what is garbage and what is not. It's not as bad as it sounds. I have a lot of company. Other moms and dads are doing the same thing. We often hold up a toy or crayon that doesn't look familiar and ask the closest parent, "Is this yours." Lots of fun.
That's all I have. What games do you play?
None of this sounds familiar to me. Not one bit. Ahem. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
ReplyDeleteI actually got to sit down before sacrament was passed yesterday. I caught the last line of the hymn, and thank goodness a friends husband was blessing so he waited until I found my seat to start. It lasted about 25 minutes, then I had to retreat to the primary room with my CRAZY twins, who ran around in circles until it was time for nursery. Sundays interupt naps, and food for my kids...they never last the whole hour.
ReplyDeleteChuch is a spectator sport for me. I just enjoy watchin the children harass their parents.
ReplyDeleteSome children are absolutely horrid!!! And it amuses me.
You completely crack me up. Thanks for the laughs. They are so good for the soul. Oh, and I've never experienced any games like that at church. My children are perfectly behaved, sitting in their own seat for the entire 75 minutes and even take notes from every speaker. So I cannot relate to this strange phenomena you speak of ;)
ReplyDeleteUntil I can get a minister to dress as Elmo (still trying), our record for quiet sitting is 48 seconds.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh you are hilarious, you must sit behind us!
ReplyDeleteWe never sit by the same people twice, we work our way around the chapel, we are equal opportunity reverence destroyers.
You described my yesterday so well! However, ALL FIVE of my kids except the baby seemed to magically develop bladder infections right at the start of the meeting, insisting they HAD to go right then, and every ten minutes, or we'd be cleaning up a mess. H-mmm...those infections lasted about 3 hours exactly, the length of church. You make me feel so validated, knowing I'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteWe love to play DROP THE COINS. A game where my kids hold, count, roll, clink, drop and fight over the handful of dollar coins due to be placed in the offerings basket later in Mass. I ruined that game by being more generous and upgrading to paper money donations.
ReplyDeleteOne other game we play is MAKE THE CHILD IN FRONT LAUGH. This is a game where my perfect children make silent monkey faces at little kids looking over their parents shoulders in the rows in front of us. This results in lots of giggling from the strangers child and lots of disapproving glances at those poor parents while my angels act all innocent.
No wonder my wonderful "Not Catholic or any other religion either" husband chooses to stay at home unless it is a special occasion!
Oh, I used to play all of those games. Now I play the one that's called "whisper yelling at your kids to keep their hands off of each other because they are twelve and ten and should know better!!!" It's SO much fun!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. It's nice to "meet" you. :)
I am impressed by the long list, lately the one we play(mind you we are all adults) is who gets the hymn book first. If son gets book, we are left to humming hymn. If husband gets book, son sits mutely because he does not have said book. The good mother that I am now brings my own hymn book and quietly steals hymn book from family sitting in front of us so my family of three (mind you) each has their own book. Good Times
ReplyDelete