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Dear Sunday the dog,

You are very, very stupid. Sometimes I loathe you. Sure, you have those endearing dark brown eyes that exude innocence but I'm not fooled. The big hairy boy may be, but I am not. You are stupid but diabolical.

We felt sorry for you being in a dog run so we fenced in the backyard. Because you are so stupid, I will use small words so you can understand. This means we spent a lot of money on you. I wanted granite counter tops. That means really cool rocks in my kitchen. I got a fence because I thought you were a good dog.

You found a hole and ran away. Stupid dog. We fixed the hole. You have then spent the past summer digging holes under the fence and running away. We have then put pavers around the fence so you can not escape. You then dug up a sprinkler pipe, and a hole under the pavers but couldn't get out. Then you dug up my carrots. That's when I knew you were diabolical. Because of you, I said bad words. I said them out loud and my neighbors heard me. This is not good.

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