What is up with Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, and social networking? When I joined FB, I stayed at the computer all day. Completely fascinating. Jane opened a Diet Coke. Jane had to pee. Jane is reading a book. Oh no she's not! She's dinking around on Facebook!
After three days of FB, I tried to get a divorce from it. But I already had 58 friends! In my 40 (or so) years, I've run in a few circles. Some of those circles had common denominators. When I tracked down a friend from high school, all of her friends were notified that I had joined FB. More requests by all parties (including me).
Then the intersecting began. College friends, old boyfriends, secret crushes, church groups, work groups, bloggers, and even people I know in real life. In real life, people! If you see me every day at work or at church, you don't need to be my friend on FB. There's nothing to stalk! You already know how I am. Unless you want to know every time I open a Diet Coke or have to pee in which you will be severely disappointed. I might mention the Diet Coke and then leave you hanging. When is she going to go to the bathroom? Has she gone yet? When will she go? She must have a bladder of steel! You will never know.
Okay, so now I have a few hundred friends and I can't even go onto FB anymore. Too overwhelming. Someone wants to send me a green patch. What the heck is a green patch? I don't want a farm animal, I've never played Mafia Wars and I won't take a quiz all to find out which Twilight character I most resemble (Alice). I don't want to know every time a "press release" is published that supports your political, emotional, religious, or marriage views. If I am interested in that stuff, I'll go to your "Info" page and check out your links, pictures, and affiliations.
Let's talk about ex-boyfriends/girlfriends and stalking. It's weird and creepy. I mean it's weird and creepy if you're not me. Nothing wrong with keeping tabs and checking up on people who were a big part of your life once upon a time. However, if it didn't end well and you were a total jerk, don't request me to be a "Friend." Even my curiosity is not that strong. Why would someone want to touch base when it ended ugly? THAT is seriously creepy. If you have something to share, change your settings, request me as a friend, let me check out what you've been up to but don't expect reciprocation. Oh, yeah. Ultimate double standard.
Stalking was so much easier in the days of yore (definition = when I was single). All we had to do was drive by his house. You could always tell who was still hung up on you by watching who drove by your house.
Or left notes on your car when you were at work, at the store, or in the middle of the night while you were sleeping. Incidently, if your name is David and I went out with you once and you were sincerely awed by the fact that my dad is a psychologist and you gave me a diamond pendant necklace after said date and I gave it back, do NOT, I repeat DO NOT request to be my friend!
Besides the aforementioned circumstance, stalking was a social and recreational event. You had to find a friend who had access to a car that the guy wouldn't recognize and then talk her into driving past his house. Toilet papering was not a criminal act but an act of affection. If you got toilet papered, you knew he liked you. And the feeling could be reciprocated. What is the electronic equivelency of toilet papering?
Social networking is lonely and voyeuristic. Did I mention addicting? It sucks my will to live. All I want to do is check up on a few people who were once an important piece of my life and helped define who am today (okay, yeah, some old boyfriends). But then it starts to feel a little like "Cheers" and Norm comes in. If I could be as nonchalant as Norm with quips about my life in milkbone underwear in a dog-eat-dog world, I wouldn't mind. But then I'm bombarded with games, quizzes, wars, opinions, links and more information than I can handle.
What would Norm say?
Sam: How’s life in the fast lane?
Norm: Dunno, I can’t get on the on-ramp.
After three days of FB, I tried to get a divorce from it. But I already had 58 friends! In my 40 (or so) years, I've run in a few circles. Some of those circles had common denominators. When I tracked down a friend from high school, all of her friends were notified that I had joined FB. More requests by all parties (including me).
Then the intersecting began. College friends, old boyfriends, secret crushes, church groups, work groups, bloggers, and even people I know in real life. In real life, people! If you see me every day at work or at church, you don't need to be my friend on FB. There's nothing to stalk! You already know how I am. Unless you want to know every time I open a Diet Coke or have to pee in which you will be severely disappointed. I might mention the Diet Coke and then leave you hanging. When is she going to go to the bathroom? Has she gone yet? When will she go? She must have a bladder of steel! You will never know.
Okay, so now I have a few hundred friends and I can't even go onto FB anymore. Too overwhelming. Someone wants to send me a green patch. What the heck is a green patch? I don't want a farm animal, I've never played Mafia Wars and I won't take a quiz all to find out which Twilight character I most resemble (Alice). I don't want to know every time a "press release" is published that supports your political, emotional, religious, or marriage views. If I am interested in that stuff, I'll go to your "Info" page and check out your links, pictures, and affiliations.
Let's talk about ex-boyfriends/girlfriends and stalking. It's weird and creepy. I mean it's weird and creepy if you're not me. Nothing wrong with keeping tabs and checking up on people who were a big part of your life once upon a time. However, if it didn't end well and you were a total jerk, don't request me to be a "Friend." Even my curiosity is not that strong. Why would someone want to touch base when it ended ugly? THAT is seriously creepy. If you have something to share, change your settings, request me as a friend, let me check out what you've been up to but don't expect reciprocation. Oh, yeah. Ultimate double standard.
Stalking was so much easier in the days of yore (definition = when I was single). All we had to do was drive by his house. You could always tell who was still hung up on you by watching who drove by your house.
Or left notes on your car when you were at work, at the store, or in the middle of the night while you were sleeping. Incidently, if your name is David and I went out with you once and you were sincerely awed by the fact that my dad is a psychologist and you gave me a diamond pendant necklace after said date and I gave it back, do NOT, I repeat DO NOT request to be my friend!
Besides the aforementioned circumstance, stalking was a social and recreational event. You had to find a friend who had access to a car that the guy wouldn't recognize and then talk her into driving past his house. Toilet papering was not a criminal act but an act of affection. If you got toilet papered, you knew he liked you. And the feeling could be reciprocated. What is the electronic equivelency of toilet papering?
Social networking is lonely and voyeuristic. Did I mention addicting? It sucks my will to live. All I want to do is check up on a few people who were once an important piece of my life and helped define who am today (okay, yeah, some old boyfriends). But then it starts to feel a little like "Cheers" and Norm comes in. If I could be as nonchalant as Norm with quips about my life in milkbone underwear in a dog-eat-dog world, I wouldn't mind. But then I'm bombarded with games, quizzes, wars, opinions, links and more information than I can handle.
What would Norm say?
Sam: How’s life in the fast lane?
Norm: Dunno, I can’t get on the on-ramp.
OMG you are TOO FUNNY! I love this post and you are SO RIGHT about FB! I have over 263 friends and though, I know them ALL from highschool and some are relatives, sometimes it gets WAY overwhelming. And unfortunately, I got ADDICTED to Farm Town - but never got into the whole Mafia Wars, etc... too much trouble - Farm Town is distracting enough at night just trying to remember which nights I have to harvest my crops so I can get all those coins! HA!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, it's too much for me. I really like blogging. I check FB maybe once every 2 weeks. But like you said, it's overwhelming. I would probably be on a bit more if I had access at work.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't get me started on Twitter. I don't need to know that much about people!
Gina has thrown a Hot Potatoe at you....?!?
ReplyDeleteThe excitement of FB is over for me too. I basically want to see who from HS got fat, got divorced, is unemployed...you know-the juicy stuff. Everything else is meaningless to me.
ReplyDeleteI've only had one awkward friend request. I waste way too much time on FB.
ReplyDeleteThink of the housework I could do if I weren't playing FarmVille...nah, I'd read a book.
I had an ex-boyfriend "friend" me on Facebook and then he sent me an invite to "become a fan" of his wife.
ReplyDeleteFB cracks me up! I cant get into the whole game thing on there but I do check it a couple times a day to see what people are up to...Im nosy that way!
ReplyDeleteDid you know you can hide people? Hide quizzes and games? You can even hide yourself from people, even if you've added them as a friend! So in the world of "playground politics" you can add anyone and everyone, and still stay as private as you'd like.
ReplyDeleteAnd hey, I know you in real life. But here I am reading your blog. Why? Well, because I don't see you at church every week. ;) I don't even see you out and about all that much. And it is kind of interesting to hear what the neighbors have to say to the world. I am part of the world, right? And you have a clever way of saying what you say.
I didn't realize you even had a blog until it came up at the party this past summer. I really have liked reading the blogs I learned about back then, and found a few more in sidebars. I think I have a better feel of people's personalities now. But I agree with what you wrote, and I know you aren't asking for my "religious" anything or other. But there was a statement from Maxwell about technologies and communications that I fully agree with: "Yes, we have unprecedented mass entertainment and mass communications, but so many lonely crowds. The togetherness of technology is no substitute for the family." I think it is also no substitute for friendships, but I think it can be a good supplement. And for me, I hope it can be a little bit of a way to feel connected even though I don't see you at church every week. ;)