Skip to main content

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

Ever notice that nearly everything requires a membership or time commitment? Whatever happened to the good old days when I required a service, I paid my money and got the service? I really miss the anonymity.

My back has been giving me fits. Somehow, my 9 year old son and I worked out a deal where he was paid so much per each minute of massaging my back, culminating in the a win/win situation - my back would be better and he would get his payment of Harry Potter Wii game. He reached his goal long before my back felt better so I buckled and called Massage Envy.

Massage Envy offers a special introductory price and then hits you with a sales pitch that would require a minimum one year contract in which the company has access to your checking account and withdraws whether you use the service or not. If you don't sign up, your next massage will be nearly double the intro price. Not only that, they require you to fill out a paper asking you to provide personal information including your telephone number. Always a red flag.

Next I hit Game Crazy to buy the Harry Potter game. The pimply teenager across the counter was not interested in the least in selling me the video game. His prime objective was to sell me into the "MPV" program. Every time I said no, he heard yes. It was completely maddening. After explaining to him (in small words he could understand and speaking slowly), I would ONLY be purchasing the game today and NOTHING ELSE AT ALL, he asked if I wanted to buy a scratch resistant insurance of some sort. I stared really hard at one particular pimple, willing it to pop and increase his brain capacity. It did not.

On to Costco where I showed my membership card upon entrance, used it to prove I could buy the photo CD I had ordered, and finally it was scanned to track my purchases. I know I am a fascinating woman but I will tell anybody who asks what I bought at Costoco. Two gallons of 1% milk, 1 gallon chocolate milk, 4 lbs. of bananas, Gala apples, a bag of some weird kind of chips and Julia Child's memoir.

Hello? (knock on your computer monitor) Did you fall asleep? I KNOW! So not worth tracking what I buy.

On the upside, if a crime is ever committed and I am a suspect, I have an airtight alibi for my afternoon.

Tonight I needed a few groceries. I thought about the local grocery stores that require membership cards in order to get the sale items on sale and finally drove just a little farther than I needed to purchase items from a home grown, old fashioned, family owned grocery store in a smaller town. No card. No identification. No problem.

Comments

  1. I've thought about that a lot too. I just want to buy what I want to buy and leave. I don't want to sign up for more, more, more, more, more! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I despise upsells. They are such a rip-off.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ohhh this post would start my in-laws going about how the government is tracking our every move and the last days are coming and we all need to buy unregistered guns to protect ourselves.

    Maybe you ought to take an unregistered gun with you next time you head out to Costco and see if they still feel like studying what you buy? Just a thought.

    ReplyDelete
  4. These things cross my mind as well. As much as I like the one stop shopping, I love to hear my Mom talk about going to the butcher, going to the farmers market etc..etc.. There may not have been bonus buys or sales for members, but there was always someone she knew and usually a good deal too.
    Okay, now I'm off to think some more...and hey, I'm also reading Julia's book.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You can't comment on a blog without being a member of the site that hosts it. If you have an account at a bank, or have a credit card, you are inundated with offers for life insurance and credit protection and identity theft coverage.

    I say no often, and vehemently, and the person on the other end of the phone still persists. I figure if I didn't initiate the call, I have every right to hang up and end the discussion...until the phone rings tomorrow at the same time.

    Between this bombardment of indirect marketing and the intrusion of security cameras
    EVERYWHERE, sometimes I feel that Big Brother IS watching me.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ohmygosh I know... I work at a gym now and we SCAN, yes, SCAN people's credit cards AND drivers licenses. So now we have roughly 1300 people's licenses and credit cards in our system. I don't know why that bothers me so much but it does.

    I don't like memberships.

    LOL Yes.. there are all sorts of critters you can subsist on if you want. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for the heads up on Massage Envy! I was going to try a massage there, but I'm not a fan of high pressure sales.

    Access to my checking account and a contract for MASSAGE? Seriously? The Chinese place doesn't even ask for all that and they offer the "happy ending."

    *Spew*

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yeah...go to my post today. Wal-mart wants me to get a membership card to use my card...unbelievable

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well, I AM watching you. [evil laugh]

    But really. You should watch this:

    http://aclu.org/pizza/images/screen.swf

    Happy viewing. :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Most Dreaded Words

 Everybody knows that Christmas is about keeping the Santa Secret and pleasing your children. Therefore, the most dreaded words are uttered on Christmas Eve. "I changed my mind, I want a [pony, scooter, bike, Red Rider BB gun]" A close second place winner is, "Can I have a New Year's Eve party?" Then, "Me, too?"

Too Sick to be Sick

I am sick.  Really and truly sick.  I even took a sick day and felt no guilt whatsoever that maybe I wasn't sick enough to have a "sick day."  Because I am.  My 5 year old was sick, too so I took him to the doctor.  I refuse to acknowledge that I'm sick because I don't get sick.  So with absolute glee, my little boy climbed up onto the table, stuck out his tongue and conversed with the doctor.  I heard something about cloudy ears and antibiotics and then I just turned it off. It hurts when sound reaches my eardrums. We drove back home, I turned on the television, brought in the dog, and let the babysitting begin.  I crawled back into bed and swam somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness.  The kids came home from school.  I might have acknowledged them.  I made chicken noodle soup from scratch.  I couldn't even think.  My husband caught me in a sway and asked what he could do.  I grunted some terse instructi...

What We Eat

Check out the good looking crew.  Just to clarify.  I'm the pretty one. There's a little mountain resort in Northern Utah that is invaded every July by this group of people. We are an intimidating bunch. 5 years ago my brother brought his Nepalese bride to the United States.  She lived in a country where she had no expectation to ever drive a car.  She bought her food daily from the market and ate it.  She taught English, although her accent was so strong when she arrived I questioned her grasp of the language.  We tried to be friendly and accepting.  We ended up scaring the daylights out of her. She thought we were crazy.  Her words, not mine. Although I think she tolerated me a little better than the others because I had the brand new fair-haired baby that she continued to steal.  She wanted a blond haired, blue eyed baby and wondered what her chances were now that she married an American. We take turns cooking for the family dinners. ...