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Incontinence

Dear Children,

I realize I sound like a scratched disk by saying this over and over and over and over again. You tell me that you know and I don't have to say it all the time but, since it is 9:50 p.m. and I'm doing yet another load of laundry, I feel compelled to explain it yet again.

Poo and pee go in the potty.

It's a simple little sentence. Try saying it to yourself all day. We call that a "mantra."

You know who you are and you know how old you are. If you happen to read this blog, you know who I am referring to when I tell you that I do not enjoy cleaning poopie underwear. Is that clear or should I spell it out for you? Again. I believe I have had enough temper tantrums over this issue that you know exactly what I am talking about. Also, stop trying to hide them. Eventually the smell gives their location away and then I'm really not happy.

I do overlook the night time enuresis as a whole. I understand it is an issue of physical and neurological maturity. However, when it is (now) 10:04 p.m. and you are in my bed while I am washing your bedding, I tend to get a little bit cranky.

Accidents will henceforth not be called as such. They are disregarding the social mores of not only our family (although we're evenly distributed across the line of continence), but of society. I will be calling these incidences of incontinence "Gross Errors of Judgment."

Not strong enough, is it?

Let's go over the drill yet AGAIN.

You feel pressure from the inner netherparts of your body. This is your signal to drop whatever you are doing and go sit or stand on or by the toilet. If you could hear inside my head, I am yelling this. Such a simple concept. Such bright children. Please connect the dots!

I love you! Please stop making more laundry for me. I realize my neurosis will be fodder for years and years of psychotherapy for you but right now I am driving myself to the loony bin! Tomorrow I will be of a more patient and saner mind and I will feel guilty for my post. I am sorry. I will be sorrier tomorrow. But please, please, please (I am begging of you, truly), let me wash grass stains, berry juice, and sweat from your clothes. PLEASE.

I love you, again!

Mom

Clarification: I have four children. One is a teenager. She is completely potty trained. Never has an accident.

Enough said.

Comments

  1. shortmamaSeptember 3, 2009 at 10:04 PM

    I feel for ya! Poop is never fun, especially at night!

    ReplyDelete
  2. wendySeptember 3, 2009 at 10:08 PM

    Ew, I am not looking forward to that.

    Have you thought of letting that kiddo do their own poopy undies or bedding?

    I'd be all over throwing out the undies and making them earn money for more. You know, since I really know nothing about that stage yet. :)

    Good luck!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. GinaSeptember 3, 2009 at 10:54 PM

    I don't have any words of wisdom for you that might help. I'm just going to put the virtual kettle on to make you a cup of tea. It sounds like you need it...

    ReplyDelete
  4. HilloriSeptember 3, 2009 at 11:42 PM

    Hmmm,tonite I put in a load of peed on clothes that the DOG peed on...could you write the dog a letter too?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lisa Page RosenbergSeptember 4, 2009 at 12:19 AM

    The new line on my business card will read, "Skidmarks R Us."

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mamma ChristineSeptember 4, 2009 at 5:17 AM

    Such a glamorous life we lead, no?

    ReplyDelete
  7. FoursonsSeptember 4, 2009 at 6:12 AM

    Depending on my mood I either was the underwear or throw it out.

    ReplyDelete
  8. KathrynSeptember 4, 2009 at 6:35 AM

    I love it when they are doing the potty dance like their life depended on it and you say "go to the bathroom" and they reply "what, I don't need to go"..AHHHHGGgghhh~

    ReplyDelete
  9. Miss. CandySeptember 4, 2009 at 7:28 AM

    Oh I am so glad we have moved out of that stage! Hang in there girl! Hang in there!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Keep Your Sunny Side UpSeptember 4, 2009 at 7:54 AM

    All I can say is you must have boys! Reading your blogs is like re-living raising my children. You have my heartfelt sympathy on this particular issue.

    ReplyDelete
  11. April and DougSeptember 4, 2009 at 10:33 AM

    I'm curious how old your children are. I'd say the culprit is a boy. . . around 2 1/2 to 3? Oh how did I guess?

    BECAUSE YOU AREN'T ALONE!!!! My son will be three in two weeks and he is about to drive me insane with this potty training mess. We've been "working" on it for months and months and months. . . two weeks ago he looked at me and said "Yano mom, I think I need to start potty training!" I about died. . . sad thing... I have another one... 14 months old... and it's a boy too! Lord have mercy on me!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. JessicaSeptember 4, 2009 at 1:16 PM

    The last poopy panties at my house went straight to the outside garbage can. I was not even about to deal with that.

    ReplyDelete
  13. alybearSeptember 6, 2009 at 6:45 PM

    And I have been potty trained since I was two. What did you do right with me?

    ReplyDelete
  14. The MomSeptember 6, 2009 at 9:30 PM

    Oh My Heck ( isn't that what people in UT say?) I could have written this!!! Its not the little ones... my older child will still throw in dirty underwear. At least just throw it away so I don't have to yell!

    ReplyDelete

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