Going through old files from graduate school, I found an invaluable pamphlet. Be a Dedicated Neurotic Remember the Past. . . and Regret it. Abhor the Present. Dread the Future. 1. Become preoccupied with the body, and make a long list of symptoms. Make them sound very clinical and professional... 2. BLAME your boss, your spouse, your partner, your neighbor, your kid. THEY are responsible for your miseries. 3. Feel trapped. You couldn't possibly declare your own independence without hurting someone's feelings. 4. Overeat. Rationalize and eat! Eat an insulated wall around yourself. Diet for a few days and say it doesn't work for you. 5. Self-pity. No matter what, feel sorry for yourself. Agonize over things about which no one cares. 6. Don't ever try. That way nobody can really accuse you of failure. You can always say, "But I could have done it." 7. Stress how shy you are. Insist that the world must come to you. You're special. 8. Your agg...
Oh no! Bahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteHe might be an aspiring bra fitter when he grows up. My husband would love that job!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my tiny world
ReplyDeleteWhat's important to our babies huh?
ReplyDeleteAfter feeding for almost twenty years, I sometimes feel like I'm just boobs on legs.
Me, I need a 36 long...
ReplyDeleteYou know what would be awesome? If my daughter held up my underwear and told me that it was getting too big!
ReplyDeleteOut of the mouth of babes! LOL Thanks for sharing! :o)
ReplyDelete