Organized Chaos vs. Anal Retentive

So I've been seeking more Zen in my life via organization. I've made some observations and come to some conclusions. These are largely hypothetical and in no way, shape, or form reflect my own life nor anybody I know. Just cold ideas without inspiration nor insight.

The Organized Woman:

. . . believes that everything has its place.

The Chaotic Woman:

. . . knows it's in this pile right here.

The Organized Woman:

. . . makes out a menu every week and shops accordingly.

The Chaotic Woman:

. . . is in the middle of cooking dinner when she realizes she doesn't have a key ingredient. Calls husband to pick it up at the store on his way home but he's already in the garage.

Or offers cold cereal or a casserole from Costco.

The Organized Woman:

. . . cleans by method. Monday is wash day, Tuesday is vacuuming, Wednesday she cleans her bathrooms, etc.

The Chaotic Woman:

. . . pulls off her clothes to get in the shower and notices the toilet is dirty, squirts toilet cleaner in said toilet. While it cascades down the sides, she sprays the counter, sink, and outside of toilet. Scrubs toilet, cleans off counter, sink and outside of toilet, takes shower, sprays shower, finds brush and scrubs shower. In the words of Jerry Seinfeld, this is Bad Naked.

The Organized Woman:

. . . checks all soap, conditioner and shampoo before exiting the shower for the next occupant.

The Chaotic Woman:

. . . spends an inordinate amount of time dripping in front of the closet, looking for a new bottle of conditioner or bar of soap. So does her husband.

The Organized Woman:

. . . schedules her time around Oprah.

The Chaotic Woman:

. . . has a love affair with her DVR (which doesn't include Oprah).

The Organized Woman:

. . . changes her sheets every Friday.

The Chaotic Woman:

. . . either doesn't remember when she last changed her sheets or remembers it only because the dog jumped on the bed with dirty paws or a child climbed into bed and had an accident.

The Organized Woman:

. . . rushes home from church every Sunday and begins preparing her lesson for next Sunday.

The Chaotic Woman:

. . . is still preparing the finishing touches for the first hour or so of church the following Sunday.

The Organized Woman:

. . . wakes up an hour before anybody else in the household and reads her scriptures, filling her spiritual vessel with the good Word.

The Chaotic Woman:

. . . feels pretty accomplished when her scriptures are not covered in dust on her nightstand OR finally figures out that they are best kept on the bathroom counter where she may or may not have time as she sits.

The Organized Woman:

. . . plans ahead for every birthday. Her gifts are wrapped and have pretty bows on them.

The Chaotic Woman:

. . . realizes it's her sister's birthday and grabs something unopened from her closet (like lotion she bought on sale or toothpaste) and puts it in a festive Christmas bag with newspaper on top. Sometimes she slaps on a bow.

The Organized Woman:

. . . sighs with remorse as she sends her children to school, lunches in hand, homework complete and in folders, and either misses them all day or leaves to work with a heavy heart.

The Chaotic Woman:

. . . has been heard to admit OUT LOUD that she enjoys her job outside the home and actually finds satisfaction at her office.

The Organized Woman:

. . . cleans her floors on Thursday with a commercial grade mop and homemade cleaning solution.

The Chaotic Woman:

. . . gets her small children out of the bathtub, dries them off with a towel, getting it good and wet, and uses towel to clean bathroom floor. She then carries the sopping towel to the kitchen where she sprays the floor with a store bought cleaning solution and, using her bare feet, she drags the towel around the floor.

The Organized Woman:

. . . her children always have clean clothes that are color coordinated with not only themselves but also their siblings. Their hair is combed, teased, gelled, and their socks match.

The Chaotic Woman:

. . . is grateful that her sons tuck in their shirts at least until they are out of eyesight of their mother. She also buys clothes for her children that don't have only one match. All shirts go with all pants. Socks are all the same brand and style. She's thrilled when her children's hair is combed and she remembers to put on a bra.

The Organized Woman:

. . . plans out her day every night and does not deviate.

The Chaotic Woman:

. . . punts all day long OR

. . . on the rare occasion she DOES plan out her day the day before, she wakes up to a beautiful autumn day and says something irreverent like "screw it" and announces to her children and husband that they are going to the zoo.

And they do.

And corrupts her sister into doing the same.

What are your secrets to survival as an "organized" or "chaotic" woman?