In order to bring balance back into your life, when insulting someone behind their back, always follow up with "bless their heart." This makes everything fair game. I've known this rule for a couple of years. My best friend from college, Heidi, and I found ourselves divulging to one another about everything and everyone. We felt like we were gossiping. Turns out, with this rule, it's all good. Fortunately, we don't run in the same circles so our heart blessings are about strangers to one another. If we actually knew these people, it may be construed as gossip.
I forget that others don't know or follow this rule.
Last night I was at the elementary school for my children's SEPs. I ran into a couple from my church congregation who were at their very first SEP for their oldest son. They are about my age but started a little older with the adoption of a biracial child 5 years ago. About 2 and half years later they decided to adopt another child of dark ethnicity to match the older one. They ended up coming home from the hospital with two.
And so, while the Mrs. was perusing books at the book fair, the Mr. and I were talking about adoption practices. I shared with him an experience of a dear friend who adopted her little guy from out of state which turned out to be a legal and emotional nightmare. It ended well at the courthouse with the adoption becoming solid 6 months later. I concluded the story with the couple deciding to adopt again, being chosen, and the husband backing out, thus devastating my dear friend. Apparently I have a knack for telling stories with bad endings.
"Why did the husband back out?" this Mr. asked me.
Nobody wants to hear the whole sordid story so I bottom lined it.
"Because he's an a**, bless his heart."
The expression change was subtle but apparent. His jaw dropped just a fraction of an inch. His eyes got just a little wider. That's when I remembered that he didn't know me very well. I had just let my Holier-Than-Thou persona slip.
What I meant to say, "He's had a girlfriend that he believes is his soulmate for the past three years, refuses to hold down a job even though he has a Master's degree because it ties him down, no longer believes in right or wrong but only his own happiness (his words, not mine), but I still care about him, bless his heart."
See? Too many words and too much information. Bless my heart.
I forget that others don't know or follow this rule.
Last night I was at the elementary school for my children's SEPs. I ran into a couple from my church congregation who were at their very first SEP for their oldest son. They are about my age but started a little older with the adoption of a biracial child 5 years ago. About 2 and half years later they decided to adopt another child of dark ethnicity to match the older one. They ended up coming home from the hospital with two.
And so, while the Mrs. was perusing books at the book fair, the Mr. and I were talking about adoption practices. I shared with him an experience of a dear friend who adopted her little guy from out of state which turned out to be a legal and emotional nightmare. It ended well at the courthouse with the adoption becoming solid 6 months later. I concluded the story with the couple deciding to adopt again, being chosen, and the husband backing out, thus devastating my dear friend. Apparently I have a knack for telling stories with bad endings.
"Why did the husband back out?" this Mr. asked me.
Nobody wants to hear the whole sordid story so I bottom lined it.
"Because he's an a**, bless his heart."
The expression change was subtle but apparent. His jaw dropped just a fraction of an inch. His eyes got just a little wider. That's when I remembered that he didn't know me very well. I had just let my Holier-Than-Thou persona slip.
What I meant to say, "He's had a girlfriend that he believes is his soulmate for the past three years, refuses to hold down a job even though he has a Master's degree because it ties him down, no longer believes in right or wrong but only his own happiness (his words, not mine), but I still care about him, bless his heart."
See? Too many words and too much information. Bless my heart.
ok totally off subject... you look like that lady that was on criminal minds this week. Not exactly like her but your profile picture is enough like her that it made me jump when I saw her. Ask my hubby... I jumped and said "she never told me she was famous." Then I realized that I knew who the actress was, but I don't know her name.
ReplyDeleteSarcasm? Come sit next to diary. She "gets" you.
ReplyDeleteBahahahahahaha! The Bless His Heart thing is so true! Ha! And I love that you got "real" with this guy and now he is telling everyone he knows just how rotten you really are. Hahahaha. Bless your heart!
ReplyDelete" If you don't have anything nice to say come sit by me"
ReplyDeleteWhat movie was that? Love it!
I read this post, and thought of this: http://bit.ly/dbBpf Bless your ♥
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Funny thing is, my Grandma used to use this exact phrase. Constantly. And that woman just told it like it was! Bless her heart!
ReplyDeleteI have found that, "God love 'em" also serves.
ReplyDeleteWhat others might call "gossiping" I refer to as "my support group." You are awarded an honorary membership. (Hold on, let me get my coffee.)
I use compliments. Example, "Because he is an *ss, but you know, also a snappy dresser!" The compliment then negates the gossip.
ReplyDelete"Bless your heart" is a cover up? Man! A lady totally said that to my face, completely about me. I didn't think much of it at the time, but now I understand the meaning I am a little miffed.
ReplyDeletePosting at 4am?
ReplyDeleteI love that rule..Im gonna use that, sounds so southern lol
ReplyDeleteheh...
ReplyDeleteI think he gets it now
It is good to know the truth about this, I have had it used on me. ;)
ReplyDelete