The Balancing of our Universe

In order to bring balance back into your life, when insulting someone behind their back, always follow up with "bless their heart." This makes everything fair game. I've known this rule for a couple of years. My best friend from college, Heidi, and I found ourselves divulging to one another about everything and everyone. We felt like we were gossiping. Turns out, with this rule, it's all good. Fortunately, we don't run in the same circles so our heart blessings are about strangers to one another. If we actually knew these people, it may be construed as gossip.

I forget that others don't know or follow this rule.

Last night I was at the elementary school for my children's SEPs. I ran into a couple from my church congregation who were at their very first SEP for their oldest son. They are about my age but started a little older with the adoption of a biracial child 5 years ago. About 2 and half years later they decided to adopt another child of dark ethnicity to match the older one. They ended up coming home from the hospital with two.

And so, while the Mrs. was perusing books at the book fair, the Mr. and I were talking about adoption practices. I shared with him an experience of a dear friend who adopted her little guy from out of state which turned out to be a legal and emotional nightmare. It ended well at the courthouse with the adoption becoming solid 6 months later. I concluded the story with the couple deciding to adopt again, being chosen, and the husband backing out, thus devastating my dear friend. Apparently I have a knack for telling stories with bad endings.

"Why did the husband back out?" this Mr. asked me.

Nobody wants to hear the whole sordid story so I bottom lined it.

"Because he's an a**, bless his heart."

The expression change was subtle but apparent. His jaw dropped just a fraction of an inch. His eyes got just a little wider. That's when I remembered that he didn't know me very well. I had just let my Holier-Than-Thou persona slip.

What I meant to say, "He's had a girlfriend that he believes is his soulmate for the past three years, refuses to hold down a job even though he has a Master's degree because it ties him down, no longer believes in right or wrong but only his own happiness (his words, not mine), but I still care about him, bless his heart."

See? Too many words and too much information. Bless my heart.