Timelines are for history geeks. Sorry. Here goes mine:
5:23 Roll over to find a 4 year old boy in my bed who announces, "Mom, I had an accident."
7:10 Wake up for real and realize I'm late. Run into 9 year old boy's bedroom and shatter his lovely dreams. He jumps up. There's a dark circle on his bed.
7:15 4 year old announces for the second time, "Mom, I had an accident."
7:20 Standing behind kitchen bar, I hear the dog gag. I panic and yell at the 9 year old boy to open the door and let her out. "Too late," he announces.
7:50 I am muttering swear words under my breath because I don't know where my husband is. Take 9 and 11 year old to school.
8:00 11 year old calls to request that I bring over the container of collected pond water she has on the kitchen counter. I don't see it. I check in dishwasher with clean dishes. Oh, there it is. I assure her I'll be right there. I'm still muttering swear words as husband enters house in his suit. Oh, that's right. He was at the temple.
8:02 Drive past elementary school and stop at the closest canal. Exit van and begin descent on embankment to gross and disgusting (redundant, but well deserved) bottom of canal. My descent is accelerated as my sensible shoes (not at all) slip and I continue on my backside.
8:04 Walk through squishy bog to obtain pond water.
8:05 Arrive at grade school with smile on face. I'm faking happiness. Notice puddle on floor of van. The container has a crack. Pour out clean bottled water from van onto asphalt. Pour in gross and disgusting bog water. 11 year old girl is happy.
12:40 Pick up 4 year old from daycare. He has had another accident. There are no clean clothes except the ones I forgot to take to charity. They are in the car. I also hold baby Derik. He's 3 months old. He spit up on me.
1:05 Make it out to van, strip child and clothe him in clothes that are too small for him. No underwear. He's going commando.
1:06 Boy announces he has to go "potty."
1:06:22 Mother of child shields the boy with the van door and herself and allows him to pee on the parking lot. Hopes nobody is manning the cameras in the school.
I'm so excited to start this all over again tomorrow.
You poor thing...I know how you feel because this reads like my life the past week. Keep telling my hubby that 70% of a mom's job consists of cleaning, be it pee or pond water. Hang in there. Someday we'll laugh at this...at least that's what they keep telling me. Just know you're not alone.
ReplyDeleteOMG you poor thing - I had this all pictured in my head as I read through your post - and then of course I had to LOL because it was too funny! Seriously, sorry you had a rough day - hope today is better! P.S. NOT funny about the prostitution - HA! :o) xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteOH EM GEE!!! Why is it that you never have one of those events at a time? They always come in a cluster. I have had that kind of day and the only way to get over it is for it to be tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteToday HAS to better!
ReplyDeleteJust another typical day in the life of a mom ... minus the bog water of course (and hope!). Some days it feels like all kids do is leak and spit-up and pee all over you. Just think ... it HAS to get better, right?
ReplyDeleteWow...& I thought my day went badly.
ReplyDeleteHope today's better :)
That is one heck of a morning!
ReplyDeleteBeen there, done that, all done, now I get to laugh at you: Mmmmmwwwaaaahhaaaahaaa!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to know where to send my vomiting three year-old. "Come on Honey, I'm dropping you off at Fluid Lady's House."
ReplyDelete(You get Extra Bonus Mom Points for the pond water situation.)
Hey! I found your blog while searching vasovagal response. I passed out today while getting an IV and the Tech told me I had a vasovagal response to needles. It brought me to a post you made about it. Your blog is great!! It sounds like you have a lot on your hands!! I'll be back!
ReplyDeleteI love that you were getting mad at your husband and he was out choosing the right. That was the part that I laughed out loud.
ReplyDeleteRough day. Have a dr pepper and a bar of chocolate and call me in the morning
Can't tell you how many times I've let my boys pee in the parking lot in just that manner. Such a good, obliging mom you are to do all that for your kiddos! One day they'll appreciate you. When they have kids of their own- but not a moment sooner!
ReplyDeleteFirst time stopping by, and all I can say is, I'd avoid swimming pools, showers, the laundry, bath time, and doing dishes if I were you today!
ReplyDelete~Elizabeth
http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.com
Been there done that in the car park more times than I want to admit...!
ReplyDelete