I don't really know how it caught on but I know how it started. It was wrapped in shiny aluminum foil and was still warm. Jill gave me cinnamon toast for Christmas. The next year, my ego stinging from being tossed aside so casually by the guy who proposed, when I said, "not now," he proposed to his next conquest before having the courtesy of dumping me. Ouch.
Jill gave me pigeons to sneak into his car and leave to do their duties (pun intended) all night.
And so it began.
One year I gave her a stack of gift cards with no more than 18 cents on each.
She gave me matching toothbrushes for my whole family.
I gave her slippers made from maxi pads.
She countered with a large box of no less than 80 unmatchable socks.
I offered a box for her food storage, complete with different sizes of cans of food without the labels.
She gave me bouquet of weeds tied up in a pretty bow and a fabric snowman stuffed with lint from her dryer.
And here lies my quandary. I got nothin'.
Christmas is coming and I can't think of a thing. I need a creative gift to give to the woman who packaged up my own surprise party. She even included instructions to hold the envelope above my head, tear it in half and, as the confetti falls around me, yell, "Surprise!" There was even a cake mix with frosting. And a banner.
Last year I was going to give her one ski but she one-upped me by giving me 80 spare socks.
I appreciate any and all input. I need a Christmas miracle.
Jill gave me pigeons to sneak into his car and leave to do their duties (pun intended) all night.
And so it began.
One year I gave her a stack of gift cards with no more than 18 cents on each.
She gave me matching toothbrushes for my whole family.
I gave her slippers made from maxi pads.
She countered with a large box of no less than 80 unmatchable socks.
I offered a box for her food storage, complete with different sizes of cans of food without the labels.
She gave me bouquet of weeds tied up in a pretty bow and a fabric snowman stuffed with lint from her dryer.
And here lies my quandary. I got nothin'.
Christmas is coming and I can't think of a thing. I need a creative gift to give to the woman who packaged up my own surprise party. She even included instructions to hold the envelope above my head, tear it in half and, as the confetti falls around me, yell, "Surprise!" There was even a cake mix with frosting. And a banner.
Last year I was going to give her one ski but she one-upped me by giving me 80 spare socks.
I appreciate any and all input. I need a Christmas miracle.
Gag gifts and gotcha gifts are hard to come up with if you don't know the person well.
ReplyDeleteIt is also hard if you come from a family like ours that tends to lean to the blue side for gag gifts.
Good luck!
I am no good at all at gag gifts. You're on your own here. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteVisiting from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.
Fake lottery tickets.....lol those are always a good gag!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had some input, those are all so great!
ReplyDeleteHow 'bout a "My Family" photo album filled with pictures of strangers?
ReplyDeleteAt first blush, she'll think you conspired with her family to get touching pictures of her loved ones.
Oh gosh. Have you Googled gag gifts?
ReplyDeleteHmmm... You could give her the largest pair of granny panties and smallets bra you can find...
ReplyDeleteKinda lame, sorry I can't think of anything more clever.
Visiting from Mamma kat's!
My husband once gave an enema. Classic.
ReplyDeletehttp://familycrafts.about.com/od/makinggaggifts/a/12dayschristmas.htm
ReplyDeleteThat is a link I found. It has 12 Days of Christmas Gag Gifts..I know there is less them 12 but maybe one will work? You could always give her some Shoes that the kids have out grown. I don't know I am not good at this stuff wither! But I did get a laugh at what you 2 are doing!! Have fun!
Last year we gave my little brother 12 pairs of boxers, one for each month. :). I say box up some warm McDonalds, a used tire, a dozen mismatched glasses, 12 bras in different sizes, her own getting old kit including depends, wart kit, corn medicine, toilet paper kleenex, vapor rub, elixers, hair dye.
ReplyDeleteI like some of the ideas on here! Once my parents gave me a card with a cut out car, like from an ad, inside. I thought that meant they'd bought me a car. Then they gave me a paper key for the paper car. :-( lol
ReplyDeleteSimilar to June's idea... I worked in an office where every morning someone would come in to find a very large framed 1970's family portrait of an unknown family. This portrait made the secret rounds from desk to desk for the better part of a year. Perhaps you can find a horrifying family portrait to present to her with a heartfelt letter letting her know you have located her birth family of origin. (Works best if said family is of a different race.)
ReplyDeleteOr
Gingerbread Crack House
You people are GOOD!
ReplyDeleteA bag of mini marshmallows and tell her they are snowman poop
ReplyDeleteor take a pipe cleaner and put a pom pom on the end and tell her its a belly button duster
put dried beans in a baggie and attach a note that says natures bubble bath...cook and eat one hour before taking a bath LOL
She can have my maternity clothes! I can't believe you two keep this up every year!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun tradition! I wish I had some good ideas to give you, but I am too busy LMBO at the ideas already given.
ReplyDelete70's family portrait! Classic!
One classy evening at Dairy Queen a friend and I started a food fight. I finally "jammed" his eye shut with a spoonful of strawberry jam... and he retorted MONTHS later by putting a road kill rabbit on my car.. and an entire bottle of ketchup (this was like, last year...) http://www.tewinlove.com/2008/01/frozen-tundra-and-dead-rabbit.html
ReplyDeleteAnyway, point being ... you need something good. Real good. LIke, collecting a box of dead cockroaches all year and then mailing them to your brother. Or a years worth of dryer lint and dead spiders. Or a LIVE version of "Who's Scat is THAT?" ... and give her a nice collection of poop. Or perhaps you should give her kids all air horns for Christmas. They had them at the dollar store-I hope Tonia doesn't read this cause her girls all got one. Um... lessee... OH OH OH you could give her BACK the 80 unmatched socks, and add more! Or sew her sweater out of the socks. Or make 80 sock hand puppets. Or give her mismatched earrings. I havce some to donate. Or hahahha give her kids a puppy! Especially if they hate dogs-you can't give away a puppy once you got it.. or sneak into her house and barely, just barely unscrew all the light bulbs and rearrange all her furniture. When she comes home her house will be different but the lights wont come on. Um... you could mail her broken electronics. Or mail her ice cream. Hahaha-but not in dry ice or specially sent.. nothing like a goopy box... but put her return address on it so when the PO is mad they dont' know it was you...