Going through old files from graduate school, I found an invaluable pamphlet. Be a Dedicated Neurotic Remember the Past. . . and Regret it. Abhor the Present. Dread the Future. 1. Become preoccupied with the body, and make a long list of symptoms. Make them sound very clinical and professional... 2. BLAME your boss, your spouse, your partner, your neighbor, your kid. THEY are responsible for your miseries. 3. Feel trapped. You couldn't possibly declare your own independence without hurting someone's feelings. 4. Overeat. Rationalize and eat! Eat an insulated wall around yourself. Diet for a few days and say it doesn't work for you. 5. Self-pity. No matter what, feel sorry for yourself. Agonize over things about which no one cares. 6. Don't ever try. That way nobody can really accuse you of failure. You can always say, "But I could have done it." 7. Stress how shy you are. Insist that the world must come to you. You're special. 8. Your agg...
Thanks to your son for adopting Bob! There are millions of avocado pits awaiting adoption - maybe you can have a telethon and let other "Bobs" have warm,loving families!
ReplyDeleteVery cute. I really need an avocado now.
ReplyDeleteBob? It looks more like a Pete to me...weird
ReplyDeleteAwesome!!
ReplyDeleteDid you know you can stick toothpicks into either side of the pit and have it hang into a jar of water. It will then (in theory) grow roots and make a really pretty plant.
ReplyDeleteYeah, um...OK. Let us know how Bob likes his new living arrangements!
ReplyDeleteHi Bob,
ReplyDeleteWe are really hoping you like your new family. They are well meaning and although it may take some time to adjust to their sense of humour it is worth it. I regularly spill my cup of tea down my pj's in the morning as I catch up on life in your new house.
Anyway your Australian Auntie Sheila says a big "Hi" from our fruit bowl. She's being quite shy and hiding behind the apples right now but there are tacos for tea and she promises she will be joining us for them....
Gina
I like Bob.
ReplyDeleteHe can let it share a room with Chunky.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you've had a crazy week-I hope today finds you well!
I thought of you tonight. I was in a major hurry ... I wore a teal shoe and a black shoe...
this sounds exactly like something my Lola would say!!! love it!
ReplyDeleteBob's fraternal twin Sheila has been residing in our house...let me know if you'd like us to make arrangements for them to meet.
ReplyDeleteWe name ours Bobby.
ReplyDelete