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Cracks

A conversation between my 4 year old boy and my mother:

Grandma, why do you have those cracks on your face?

What cracks?

These cracks right here (he traces one with his finger).

Those are called wrinkles.

Do they hurt?

No, they don't hurt.

***********************************
I made an attempt at organizing my photos. I never really know what to do with them these days. Do I make them into prints? Do I make a CD with all of them? What will I do with a CD? Where can I store all of the albums?

The pictures evoked so many emotions from years past. The wonder and sheer exhaustion of new motherhood, the excitement of moving, the warm breeze at a park, the comfort of familiar. I also found that I could spot the times of my life when I was under extra stress.

I have a tendency to stop eating when I'm anxious. From the pictures, I surmised that I must have had about ten really good years.

Besides the weight loss, my face looks different. I found a picture of myself and my daughters at a particularly dreadful time of life. The woman in the picture was slender but, for perhaps the first time, there were noticeable lines on her face. Even though she is smiling, I can see the anxiety in her eyes. In fact, if I really look at the pictures, I can see in the face when she is struggling with stress.

Now I look at the lines in my face and I don't remember when I got them but I know that I paid dearly for each of them.

I think my mother was wrong. Cracks do hurt.

Comments

  1. RiahliFebruary 17, 2010 at 6:19 AM

    Absolutely.

    ReplyDelete
  2. FoursonsFebruary 17, 2010 at 6:37 AM

    When I'm stressed I eat. So all the photos where I'm fat are the bad years.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LisaFebruary 17, 2010 at 7:09 AM

    so true

    ReplyDelete
  4. June Freaking CleaverFebruary 17, 2010 at 8:14 AM

    I just pretend that each "crack" represents a bit of wisdom I've picked up...each year, I get smarter!

    And they look better than being all facelifted, botoxed, collagened up - think Joan Rivers - now that face hurts.

    ReplyDelete
  5. M-CatFebruary 17, 2010 at 8:15 AM

    Isn't it funny that we can look back on pictures and just by our own selves can tell how good/bad life was at the moment.

    I have a fat girl picture on my fridge as a reminder to never let myself get that unhappy again. To never let someone else control my emotions.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lisa Page RosenbergFebruary 17, 2010 at 3:21 PM

    I adore you and all of your cracks.

    Yeah, I said it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. CountessLaurieFebruary 17, 2010 at 6:48 PM

    I notice that some of my cracks are from laughing and smiling, and I am not trading those in for anything...

    Great post!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. shortmamaFebruary 17, 2010 at 7:19 PM

    I think youre right

    ReplyDelete

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