Going through old files from graduate school, I found an invaluable pamphlet. Be a Dedicated Neurotic Remember the Past. . . and Regret it. Abhor the Present. Dread the Future. 1. Become preoccupied with the body, and make a long list of symptoms. Make them sound very clinical and professional... 2. BLAME your boss, your spouse, your partner, your neighbor, your kid. THEY are responsible for your miseries. 3. Feel trapped. You couldn't possibly declare your own independence without hurting someone's feelings. 4. Overeat. Rationalize and eat! Eat an insulated wall around yourself. Diet for a few days and say it doesn't work for you. 5. Self-pity. No matter what, feel sorry for yourself. Agonize over things about which no one cares. 6. Don't ever try. That way nobody can really accuse you of failure. You can always say, "But I could have done it." 7. Stress how shy you are. Insist that the world must come to you. You're special. 8. Your agg...
LOL! Oh, I could fill a book with my boys' underwear superhero pictures. Classic. Love it.
ReplyDeleteAdd the receiving blanket cape for the complete ensemble.
ReplyDeleteIt's the best! I hope the orange one was pulled from the clean laundry basket - teheehee.
ReplyDeleteOh how you are going to be in trouble one day for posting these!
ReplyDeleteHA!! Super Funny...
ReplyDeleteHow do you get him to actually keep underpants on? Sigh.
ReplyDeleteTell him Darth Vader wears them.
ReplyDelete