Rules of Swearing

My dad swore twice when I was a kid. Really. It's not that he was terribly averse to cursing because I don't think he was. He wasn't terribly religious and he grew up on a sugar beet farm in Southern Idaho. That's enough to make anybody swear. Backbreaking work.

My mom has always had strong feelings about curse words. She doesn't believe in them. In fact, swearing shows a weakness in intellect and vocabulary. She has a strong intellect and vast vocabulary. She took us to church every Sunday, made us take our church clothes on vacation, conducted family home arguments evening on Monday nights, and essentially saw to our spiritual upbringing.

My mom swore more than twice when I was growing up. A lot more than twice.

I don't believe children should swear. This extends to teenagers. If our young start swearing early on, they don't develop their intellect and vocabulary. I can support this theory with anecdotal evidence; my high school students with the worst language are often the ones with the worst grades. Coincidental or causal? I don't know.

Mothers shouldn't swear. They really shouldn't. But if anybody has earned the right to swear, it is a mother. Only a mother understands my double standard.

Not that this has ever happened to me but it is exceedingly difficult to not crack up the first time your 2 year old hits her dad on his head because he wants to put on her shoes and she doesn't want to put them on and she punctuates every little hit with a cute little, "Dammit."

Or on less frustrating days you realize you might have said, "Gosh, child!" a few too many times when she tearfully retorts, "I'm not a "Gosh Child!"

As toddlers, all of my children have slipped at least one swear word out in front of their grandparents. I am always quick to blame their father for the potty mouth. He's cursed in their presence twice. At least I think I've heard him. Certainly I couldn't be guilty of teaching my children words that could be repeated at the most inopportune times.

Or maybe it's genetic. I'm just glad it skips a generation. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.