Going through old files from graduate school, I found an invaluable pamphlet. Be a Dedicated Neurotic Remember the Past. . . and Regret it. Abhor the Present. Dread the Future. 1. Become preoccupied with the body, and make a long list of symptoms. Make them sound very clinical and professional... 2. BLAME your boss, your spouse, your partner, your neighbor, your kid. THEY are responsible for your miseries. 3. Feel trapped. You couldn't possibly declare your own independence without hurting someone's feelings. 4. Overeat. Rationalize and eat! Eat an insulated wall around yourself. Diet for a few days and say it doesn't work for you. 5. Self-pity. No matter what, feel sorry for yourself. Agonize over things about which no one cares. 6. Don't ever try. That way nobody can really accuse you of failure. You can always say, "But I could have done it." 7. Stress how shy you are. Insist that the world must come to you. You're special. 8. Your agg...
Mmmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteYou lucky dog. Our closest grocery stores don't have a bakery (unless you count stuff shipped in), and the closest one closes at 9pm.
ReplyDeleteOh, the joys of small town life.
Which store? Smith's? Next time call me - I will tag along.
ReplyDeletemmm. SO evil to post pictures of things like that for all to drool over.
ReplyDeleteOooooo that looks good. German chocolate? I bet they have GREAT carrot cake, too. Mmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteYummy. I can totally see why you stay up late to read. :)
ReplyDeleteI think I just went into a sugar coma
ReplyDelete