Skip to main content

Women of a Certain Age

I read a lot about "a woman of a certain age." I don't know if I understand what, exactly, that age is.

I've been 25 and my struggles were vast. Finding my niche in my career, identifying my place in the world, and wondering if I'd ever get married and have a family.

I've been 30 and my worries deepened. How do I juggle my growing family and my career? How could my baby thrive when I worked full time and she wouldn't take a bottle?  Would I ever have a second child after barely surviving pregnancy?

I've been 35 and we'd just built a house. I'd had my third child and graduated to a minivan. I started dancing and thought I could fly. My life was all-consuming and I ignored my husband.

I've been 40 and I rediscovered my husband. I just had my 4th child.  I had to join Weight Watchers to lose the extra curves. I'd suffered loss and healed. I'd suffered other loss and accepted. I'd started plucking more stray hairs in places besides my eyebrows.

I've been 44 and realize I've passed the torch of beauty onto my daughters. I eat less and less so I won't gain weight. I might have to start exercising again. I've given up balancing motherhood and career - I accept that I choose to sacrifice one for another at different times. I realize I can't do it alone.

I love myself. 

I loathe myself. 

I laugh.

I cry. 

I search for my identity in this world.

Some things change while others remain constant.

I think every woman has always been "a woman of a certain age."
Labels:

Comments

  1. June Freaking CleaverMarch 31, 2010 at 7:11 AM

    If you think of "certain" as meaning "sure", then you've just described "women of an uncertain age" - because we're never really sure we're doing it right.

    Weird that men don't seem to have that problem, isn't it?

    Think they could develop an innoculation for girls to instill confidence?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mom24March 31, 2010 at 7:26 AM

    I love this. Isn't it so sad that we can't have this wisdom when we're living through those ages? I'm coming up on 44 and I've never dreaded aging to much. Not sure why, except that feeling that it's all slipping by way too quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LisaMarch 31, 2010 at 7:58 AM

    well said. I like your Together sign in your header.

    ReplyDelete
  4. CJ SimeMarch 31, 2010 at 8:06 AM

    I just wish you weren't such a liar.

    There is no way you have been 40 or 44 for that matter.

    ReplyDelete
  5. YolandaMarch 31, 2010 at 8:15 AM

    I'm 36 and still trying to accept who I am and what/who I will become. Is that normal?
    BTW - I love your new blog look - it is clean and crisp. I may have to use it too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kristina P.March 31, 2010 at 8:15 AM

    I have been 25 too! For the past 6 years.

    ReplyDelete
  7. M-CatMarch 31, 2010 at 9:47 AM

    Great post! I think every woman of every certain age, has similar things.

    I wonder how I will feel at 50?

    ReplyDelete
  8. FoursonsMarch 31, 2010 at 9:55 AM

    I'm 35 and experiencing the extra curves that may require exercise. *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  9. wendyMarch 31, 2010 at 10:43 AM

    I love this, Nancy. Every age has something, doesn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  10. GinaMarch 31, 2010 at 12:25 PM

    I'm 36 and wishing I could go back to the body I had 10 years ago with the knowledge and feelings of who I am that I have now.

    I'm just starting to get my head around that I am me, this is my life and I am the only one who can decide whether each day is a happy one or not.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lisa Page RosenbergMarch 31, 2010 at 3:23 PM

    I love this.
    And you.

    When I am starting to feel a tiny bit ancient, I sometimes look ahead to a time where I will look at photos of myself from now and think, "I was so young then..."

    ReplyDelete
  12. Maggie MayApril 1, 2010 at 8:57 PM

    Not only did I love this, but I really needed to read this right now. Thank you so much for sharing this.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  13. RiahliApril 4, 2010 at 9:04 PM

    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  14. TiffanyApril 6, 2010 at 6:30 PM

    I love this also, can you write one for me. Really. I am so uncreative but I need one. I can't figure out where I am in my life.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How To Be A Dedicated Neurotic

Going through old files from graduate school, I found an invaluable pamphlet. Be a Dedicated Neurotic Remember the Past. . . and Regret it. Abhor the Present. Dread the Future. 1. Become preoccupied with the body, and make a long list of symptoms. Make them sound very clinical and professional... 2. BLAME your boss, your spouse, your partner, your neighbor, your kid. THEY are responsible for your miseries. 3. Feel trapped. You couldn't possibly declare your own independence without hurting someone's feelings. 4. Overeat. Rationalize and eat! Eat an insulated wall around yourself. Diet for a few days and say it doesn't work for you. 5. Self-pity. No matter what, feel sorry for yourself. Agonize over things about which no one cares. 6. Don't ever try. That way nobody can really accuse you of failure. You can always say, "But I could have done it." 7. Stress how shy you are. Insist that the world must come to you. You're special. 8. Your agg...
11 comments
Read more

Pioneer Trek

Utah was founded by the Mormon pioneers in 1847 after enduring unimaginable losses and seeking a place of peace. July 24th marks the anniversary that the first wagon trains arrived in the Salt Lake Valley. Their numbers were greatly diminished by crossing the country in wagons and handcarts, dying of scurvy, tuberculous, malaria, starvation, unidentified fevers, and freezing to death. This, they found preferable to facing the extermination order put forth by Governor Boggs of Missouri. I believe this is the most courageous act of faith - to leave all they had that was familiar and travel the rough terrain in the unknown in search of a place where they could worship in peace. My daughters left this morning for a small re-creation of what the pioneers experienced. I don't love the idea since I know so many of the pioneers died but it is a way for many of the youth to connect to their ancestors and understand what many of the early members endured for their faith. The youth were asked...
5 comments
Read more

Flu

The flu has been making its way through our family.  The first to be hit was the 15 year old.  She was very, very angry.  At me.  She had been begging for the flu shot for the past three months.  I kept forgetting.  She got better but it's one more thing to discuss on her future therapist's couch. Today I picked up my 5 year old from school.  He told me about making valentine's for his friends and how he gave his valentine to his best friend, Chase.  Chase is the little boy who grabbed my scarf on my way to my car today, looked at me earnestly and yelled his telephone number to me so fast I couldn't process it then ran away. "Today I felt so sick." "Why didn't you call me to pick you up?" "I told Teacher but she didn't call you." "What did you say?" "I told her my head hurt and I felt dizzy." "What did she say?" "She told me I wasn't sick." I took mental note to talk to his teacher about c...
2 comments
Read more