In a Heartbeat: Sharing the Power of Cheerful Giving - What can you offer?

On October 1, 1962, James Meredith became the first person of African descent to attend University of Mississippi, affectionately referred to as "Ole Miss." In Fall, 2006, Collins Tuohy, rich white 110 lb. athlete started college at Ole Miss with her brother, Michael Oher, rich black 300 lb. 6'4" athlete. That same semester, the two further crossed racial lines by having Michael and his teammates lunch at the Kappa Delta sorority. 

"The Blind Side" is a delightful book about NFL Ravens right tackle, Michael Oher.  One child out of a gaggle, a drug addicted mother had lost custody of Michael and her multiple other children.  Once in the custody of the state, CPS lost track of him in his early teens.  Cared for by a smattering of helpful people, nobody took responsibility for his well being besides Michael himself.  Still, Michael did have enough connections to often find himself a warm couch or floor to sleep and someone helped Michael gain entrance to a private school on scholarship.  It was at Briarcrest, the private school, where Michael caught the eye of Sean Tuohy, a father of two students.  

Eventually, Sean talked Michael into coming over after school and studying.  Michael started staying over on the sofa, folding his sheets and blankets with military preciseness.  For Leigh Anne Tuohy, mildly OCD (mildly may be exaggerated here), it was love.  

Leigh Anne is a force to be reckoned with.  When Leigh Anne barks, a person does not argue but jumps right to it.  When she tells you that church starts at 10:00 a.m., you'd better be dressed and shined by 9:30.  Frankly, the woman scares me senseless and, strangely enough, I want very badly to meet her.  Her no-nonsense ways leave no doubt that I could learn much from her.  Her husband and children may not necessarily fear her (although they should), they respect her.  

Both Sean and Leigh Anne were born into modest means.  Sean's were much more bare bones and appreciated the kindness of others who reached out to him, giving him a chance to attend good schools and find success as a businessman.  Together, they decided very early on to be doers of the Word and not hearers only.  Charity did not begin with Michael Oher.  It began much, much earlier.

Although philanthropic, the Tuohys did much more than give of their money.  They currently earmark 25% of their income for charitable causes.  They also give of themselves.  Collins, now in her twenties, volunteers at a high school as a coach because the school didn't have one.  Sean was volunteering at Briarcrest at the time that Michael first caught his eye.  They offered their home as a haven for many students until their parents came home from work.  The difference between them and Michael is that Michael didn't have any parents and didn't have a home.  He was strategically splitting his time between sofas and other warm places so as to not wear out his welcome when he was invited to stay at the Tuohy's home.  My guess is Leigh Anne informed him he was staying and showed him his bed. 

The point of the book is to give a glimpse into the lives of the family.  Michael Oher was going to be successful.  Sean and Leigh Anne did not save him.  However, they made his saving himself a whole lot easier.  

Giving is a lifestyle choice for the Tuohys.  Few of the common people can feed 25 football players Thanksgiving dinner or charter three school buses and buy football tickets for a school student body to attend an athletic event. But what can we do?  When basic hygiene items are on sale, can we pick up a couple extra and give to the homeless shelter?  Buy a school uniform for a child who needs one?  Double our charitable contributions to our church?

As a family, we have participated in a couple of service opportunities.  Both came into my little head thanks to an assignment I received from church.  I became a humanitarian leader.  The nice thing about this assignment is that there are two of us.  One of us in a quilter who regularly holds quilting circles at her home because she's just wonderful like that.  Between her organizational skills and the marvelous talent she and others possess, people all over the world are greatly blessed by having a warm place to sleep.  The other person assigned to this great work is me.  Frankly, I had to dig a little deeper to find my humanitarian talents.

Frankly, I have enjoyed my relationship with our church's humanitarian center.  If you ever get to Salt Lake City, find out where it is and schedule a tour.  It is truly mind boggling.  Want to help?  Go to www.lds.org, find Humanitarian Needs, click on kits, and, as August approaches and school supplies go on sale, grab a few extra supplies.  Exact needs for kits are listed here.

My own family spent an evening putting together hygiene kits.  I love the story of the young woman whose life changed because of one little hygiene kit.  It is included in that post.

What few people know, although it is not surprising, my own family has gone through a hard time when we had very little.  It was disheartening not only to wonder where our food would come from but the emotional and spiritual isolation from others was deafening.  Those few ventured out to offer assistance are seared in my heart.  My only regret is I allowed pride to get in the way of blessings for not only my own family but the giver.  I stoically refused any assistance.  I robbed others of great spiritual gifts.  But I remember who are they are.

As our situation improved, although still trying to get our feet on the ground, it came to my attention that there was a woman that I didn't know but someone else did.  Her husband had left her with her three small children, one of them critically ill.  She lacked marketable skills and her pantry and refrigerator was bare.  Because of my own recent experience, I knew I could not allow her to feel isolated and worry about food for her family.  I quickly rallied my four children together and we had a family council.  When I say family council, I dictated what we were going to do and they agreed to do what I told them.  

Another brilliant idea I gleaned from my Humanitarian assignment in my congregation was an idea I'll call Meals in bags.  I found a few easy recipes, copied them onto cards, and the kids and I went shopping.  When we came home, we arranged the food into organized bags with a recipe stapled on top.  If the recipe called for a cup of shredded cheese, we overcompensated by buying a brick of cheese big enough to feed them for awhile.  A cup of rice turned into a #10 can. 

My resident spy on this woman's house informed me when she was home and my children were carefully instructed to not say a word once we entered her house.  We invited ourselves in, each carrying at least one bag and/or a gallon milk.  I instructed her where the recipe cards were, which bags held perishables, and we filed out.  She had no idea who we were.  She asked who it organized it and I simply told her that the woman who did it doesn't want to be identified. It was a win/win situation.  My children had the opportunity of self-less giving.  This woman had dinner food for a week (plus a couple of boxes of cereal) and kept her pride. If, perchance, one of the readers of this blog happens to know and remember this incident due to knowing this woman, SHUSH!

Develop an attitude of giving.  Nothing is too small to make a difference to someone.  That's the Tuohys strategy.  Grab a Christmas wish off a Giving Tree.  Volunteer an hour at Project Read.  What can you do?  What do you have to give?

Comments welcome and encouraged.  This is a great opportunity to share ideas.