If I am sitting on the floor, folding laundry, I will stand up and walk across the house to answer your call. If I have encountered a small miracle and have finally sat down in the bathroom by myself and you ring the doorbell or knock, I will laboriously dress my bottom half and come to you. Do you really want to face my wrath after I felt comfortable enough to go then felt forced to stop all attempts and redress?
If, by some amazing miracle, I find a quiet moment and I start to doze on my bed, and you ring the doorbell, knock, or otherwise disturb me, I will come to the door. Maybe. If you ring the doorbell again and I answer it and see you, there will be hell to pay.
This little sign means do not deign to disturb my home. I don't give a rat's crap that you are spraying chemicals on my neighbor's lawn and, although you saw my sign, you continue with your attempts to sell me a service you know I will simply die without. No, you have misinterpreted the person who will die.
The first two door to door salespeople simply received an incredulous expression and a slammed door midsentence. The third guy looked at me with a somewhat insulted expression when I exclaimed, "Do you need a dictionary, young man? Give me your address and I'll be sure to drop by your house."
The fourth guy received a few more insults.
The last guy will be released from the hospital by Halloween. They may never find his missing appendage.
We don't get door-to-door solicitors here in the sticks.
ReplyDeleteBut I do get tons of sales calls for insurance and credit protection...from my own bank.
Can't exactly tell them to put me on the DNC list.
Will I be the scourge of my neighborhood and family if I take a job as a telemarketer?
Fortunately, living in a condo complex, and working weird hours, I never have to deal with these guys.
ReplyDelete"...you have misinterpreted the person who will die."
ReplyDeletePlease embroider this on a pillow as soon as possible.
Oh my do I feel the same way! I just told my husband that I need a giant sign for our front door because I am sick and tired of the door knockers!! I hate how they look annoyed with ME when I don't want to buy what ever it is that they are pushing...it makes me want to yank the door back open and chase them down the walk way screaming like a mad women!! One guy actually told me to go look for change (!) when I told him I didn't have the money to spend (waste) on what every it was he was trying to get me to buy. WHAT!! We have these scammers that come by and act like they are trying to raise money for school or something like that and they try to make you feel guilty for not supporting them in that by buying some over priced item from them...oh it is all so irritating I shouldn't have even started in on this topic!!!
ReplyDeleteThat is horrible. We get them, but I always assumed that it's because I don't have a No Solicitors sign on my door (on my to-do list).
ReplyDeleteMy strategy: If I look through the peephole and 1- I don't recognize you or 2- You are holding a clipboard, I won't open the door. Doesn't matter that my 4-yo is shrieking with excitement about who is on the other side. Won't happen.
The other day we were walking home at the same time a solicitor walked up to my porch. I tried to convince my kids to keep walking and pretend it wasn't our house. It didn't work, BG is just too friendly.
We don't get enough around my area to warrant a sign. My husband always tells them to come back when I am home and I just tell them no no no too poor can't afford it husband out of work until they leave.
ReplyDeleteJust curious...how do you justify missionaries then? I've always thought about this. A lot of my LDS friends complain about solicitors, but missionaries fall under that grouping in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteSorry if I disturbed you. I'll just let you go back to choking on your freshly picked home grown strawberries! Hope you are having a fun summer.
ReplyDelete