Skip to main content

A Most Peculiar Nocturnal Interaction

The 10 year old went to bed fully clothed and without brushing his teeth.  Given this evidence, I was pretty certain he also forgot to visit the throne.  So before going to bed, I flipped on his light and announced in my perkiest voice that it was time to put on his pajamas, go the bathroom and brush his teeth.  Positioning his body outside his bedroom door, I gave it a gentle nudge toward the bathroom.  My own OCD kicking in, I began cleaning his room.

5 minutes later I realized he was still gone and I hadn't heard teeth brushing or toilet flushing.  Peeking down the hall, I found there were no lights illuminating any of the rooms except a sliver coming from under the laundry room.  Interesting.  Just as I turned the doorknob, the light went out.  I flipped it on and found myself face to face with a naked, befuddled boy, his hands cupped protectively over his future family jewels.

"Hey Buddy!  What are you doing?"

*Blink*

"Did you brush your teeth?"

*Blink*  "I don't know."

"Any idea what happened to your clothes?"

*Blink*  "I don't know."

"Do you need clean underwear and pajamas?"

*Blink, Blink* "I don't..." Looks down and realizes he's naked, "Yeah."  Stays standing where he is.

"Any idea where you keep your clothes?"

Hesitantly, "My bedroom?"

"Good answer.  Why don't you head that direction and find some clothes to sleep in."

*Blink* Eyes focus * Looks down again.  "Hey!  Where are my clothes?  Why am I in the laundry room?"

My turn - "I don't know."

Comments

  1. EmptyNesterJanuary 19, 2011 at 5:43 AM

    That was one tired little guy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AmyJanuary 19, 2011 at 6:13 AM

    Oh, poor baby. Did he remember any of that in the morning?

    I hope you're saving these stories for his wedding day....

    ReplyDelete
  3. RiahliJanuary 19, 2011 at 7:16 AM

    Ha ha!

    ReplyDelete
  4. June Freaking CleaverJanuary 19, 2011 at 9:31 AM

    I sure hope he was too short to pee in the washer.

    And where was your camera?

    A missed opportunity, for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  5. RachelJanuary 19, 2011 at 1:25 PM

    Us sleepwalkers ROCK! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. JenniferJanuary 19, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    AHAHAHAHAHA.. Too funny. I seriously hope he didn't pee in the laundry room :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousJanuary 23, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    Thanks for an idea, you sparked at thought from a angle I hadn’t given thoguht to yet. Now lets see if I can do something with it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. M-CatJanuary 23, 2011 at 2:34 PM

    LOL - wonder if he remembered any of it the next morning?

    We had a similar sitch with my little BIL years ago, but he was in his early 20's and inebriated. Not nearly as funny when he actually peed in my laundry room

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hadley FamilyJanuary 28, 2011 at 7:02 AM

    I stumbled on your blog from Mormon Mom's Who Blog (I think) and was reading some of your posts. This one had me in stitches. I had tears running down my face. Thanks for a good laugh after a rough night at work, it was definately appreciated.

    ReplyDelete
  10. CountessLaurieFebruary 9, 2011 at 9:47 AM

    Yeah, what Anonymous said.
    Wait, what did Anonymous say?
    and I thought I left non-squitor comments. Is non-sequitor a word? I need a haircut.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pioneer Trek

Utah was founded by the Mormon pioneers in 1847 after enduring unimaginable losses and seeking a place of peace. July 24th marks the anniversary that the first wagon trains arrived in the Salt Lake Valley. Their numbers were greatly diminished by crossing the country in wagons and handcarts, dying of scurvy, tuberculous, malaria, starvation, unidentified fevers, and freezing to death. This, they found preferable to facing the extermination order put forth by Governor Boggs of Missouri. I believe this is the most courageous act of faith - to leave all they had that was familiar and travel the rough terrain in the unknown in search of a place where they could worship in peace. My daughters left this morning for a small re-creation of what the pioneers experienced. I don't love the idea since I know so many of the pioneers died but it is a way for many of the youth to connect to their ancestors and understand what many of the early members endured for their faith. The youth were asked...
5 comments
Read more

How To Be A Dedicated Neurotic

Going through old files from graduate school, I found an invaluable pamphlet. Be a Dedicated Neurotic Remember the Past. . . and Regret it. Abhor the Present. Dread the Future. 1. Become preoccupied with the body, and make a long list of symptoms. Make them sound very clinical and professional... 2. BLAME your boss, your spouse, your partner, your neighbor, your kid. THEY are responsible for your miseries. 3. Feel trapped. You couldn't possibly declare your own independence without hurting someone's feelings. 4. Overeat. Rationalize and eat! Eat an insulated wall around yourself. Diet for a few days and say it doesn't work for you. 5. Self-pity. No matter what, feel sorry for yourself. Agonize over things about which no one cares. 6. Don't ever try. That way nobody can really accuse you of failure. You can always say, "But I could have done it." 7. Stress how shy you are. Insist that the world must come to you. You're special. 8. Your agg...
11 comments
Read more

Flu

The flu has been making its way through our family.  The first to be hit was the 15 year old.  She was very, very angry.  At me.  She had been begging for the flu shot for the past three months.  I kept forgetting.  She got better but it's one more thing to discuss on her future therapist's couch. Today I picked up my 5 year old from school.  He told me about making valentine's for his friends and how he gave his valentine to his best friend, Chase.  Chase is the little boy who grabbed my scarf on my way to my car today, looked at me earnestly and yelled his telephone number to me so fast I couldn't process it then ran away. "Today I felt so sick." "Why didn't you call me to pick you up?" "I told Teacher but she didn't call you." "What did you say?" "I told her my head hurt and I felt dizzy." "What did she say?" "She told me I wasn't sick." I took mental note to talk to his teacher about c...
2 comments
Read more