The dreaded science fair arrives every 5th grade year and parents are responsible for coming up with some kind of scientific experiment for their children to conduct and completely wow the judges. Wowing is not my specialty and I deferred this one to Scott. Between the two men, an experiment was concocted. They were to test the electrical conductivity of coins. Pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters were quickly tested and all were equal. A little anticlimactic.
I grabbed a small cedar chest I knew still held European currency from my single days as a girl without a mortgage payment or thought for retirement planning and proceeded to dump out the contents. Turns out I had more in the box than German Marks or English pounds.
With my 10 year old son beside me, I picked up a strip of photo booth pictures of myself and my sister. At the same time, my son picked up another batch of photo booth pics. His jaw dropped and he let out a loud gasp. It was me but not with my sister. I could see why he gasped, of course. I was gorgeous.
My eyes scanned down the pictures. Or maybe he gasped because of that one picture where I am kissing that guy and that guy is not my son's father.
I could salvage this situation. I could. I casually reached out to snatch it from my son's hand. He glared at me and said, "Dad, I think you need to see this." He took it and looked at it.
"Man! You were a bombshell!"
"I know," I answered, and casually retrieved it.
Later that night I noticed the picture had been moved which meant that someone was looking at it again and my husband's remark came back and ate at me.
*Crickets chirping*
Fine wine? Sharp cheese? Only get better with age?
Finally I helped him out. "Were?"
"You never answered my text today," he replied. Well, that was a non-sequitur. I reached for my phone and read,
"Wedding ring picked up and appraised. Keeping the ring means keeping me. You up for that?" 2:18 p.m.
Next text:
"Um, you are supposed to quickly write back "Yes, of course!" 2:42 p.m.
Dear Handsome Husband,
Nineteen years ago this month I gave you the answer to that question. The answer hasn't changed.
P.S. You are still a hottie.
Bets on if he amends his comments to ...and you still are a bombshell?
I grabbed a small cedar chest I knew still held European currency from my single days as a girl without a mortgage payment or thought for retirement planning and proceeded to dump out the contents. Turns out I had more in the box than German Marks or English pounds.
With my 10 year old son beside me, I picked up a strip of photo booth pictures of myself and my sister. At the same time, my son picked up another batch of photo booth pics. His jaw dropped and he let out a loud gasp. It was me but not with my sister. I could see why he gasped, of course. I was gorgeous.
My eyes scanned down the pictures. Or maybe he gasped because of that one picture where I am kissing that guy and that guy is not my son's father.
I could salvage this situation. I could. I casually reached out to snatch it from my son's hand. He glared at me and said, "Dad, I think you need to see this." He took it and looked at it.
"Man! You were a bombshell!"
"I know," I answered, and casually retrieved it.
Later that night I noticed the picture had been moved which meant that someone was looking at it again and my husband's remark came back and ate at me.
- He said it like he was surprised.
- Not a word about the guy I was kissing.
- Were a bombshell?
*Crickets chirping*
Fine wine? Sharp cheese? Only get better with age?
Finally I helped him out. "Were?"
"You never answered my text today," he replied. Well, that was a non-sequitur. I reached for my phone and read,
"Wedding ring picked up and appraised. Keeping the ring means keeping me. You up for that?" 2:18 p.m.
Next text:
"Um, you are supposed to quickly write back "Yes, of course!" 2:42 p.m.
Dear Handsome Husband,
Nineteen years ago this month I gave you the answer to that question. The answer hasn't changed.
P.S. You are still a hottie.
Bets on if he amends his comments to ...and you still are a bombshell?
Oh dear! Husbands do say the darndest things, dont they? They always manage to say awkward things and get our wheels turning. In some universe, this is good for our ego.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from mama kat's :)
Did he ever realize his mistake?
ReplyDeleteStopping by from Writer's Workshop. Here's ours if you get a chance to visit: http://zemeks.blogspot.com/2011/02/what-are-you-going-to-do-clean-trash.html
MEN! Just don't get it sometimes! And it is impossible not to let it get in your head - totally understand :-)
ReplyDeleteStopping by from Mama Kat's....
Yeah, they can be thick like a brick in the head sometimes...
ReplyDeleteWere. SHEESH. Still are, chica, you STILL ARE!!
MY guys say things like that to see if I am listening or passively thinking about other things when he is talking.
ReplyDeleteHaha.. I can't count how many times I say to my husband, "That is definitely not the right answer, wanna try it again?!" I think most of the time he does it on purpose, either to bug me, or to see if I'm actually listening to him.
ReplyDeleteeeek, my husband always things like this and then pretends to have been playing, he calls it wnding me up. I call it a bad idea, lol. Good story.
ReplyDelete