Confessions of an Imperfect Mother

In honor of Mother's Day, I have decided to purge myself of my imperfections. Not that I plan on changing, I am simply confessing. You may need to take a shower afterward.

1. I hate going to church on Mother's Day. While the speakers beatify their mothers, I feel like an abysmal failure.
2. I spent yesterday angry at my children for evidencing my failure as a mother by not being more responsible, grateful, clean, having more common sense, taking ownership of themselves, their behaviors, and their stuff, loving, tolerating, or at least respecting other members in the household enough to leave the room when they feel they simply *must* pick a fight.
3. Much of the time I would rather spend time with my blog or a good book than with my children.
4. I worked 8 and half hours on Friday. That was the most peaceful day I've had in weeks. Maybe months.
5. There is not a clear path from the door to the bed in any child's bedroom. Every room contains a severe tripping hazard.
6. I am still stunned by sentences I feel obligated to utter like, Who peed in the garbage can? Did you brush your teeth? Did you brush your hair? (the girl is in jr. high), Stop picking at your lip until they bleed, go pee right now, Is that the same shirt you wore yesterday? And the day before? You swallowed what? And many, many other questions, statements that sound just silly coming from my mouth but I feel I must give them air.
7. I have left the dog at home to babysit the youngest child so I can take other children to school since he was 3 years old.
8. Two of my four children did NOT go to pre-school. At all. My schedule wouldn't allow it.
9. When my kindergarten boy decides to not go to kindergarten, I keep him home because it's too hard to fight him so early in the morning and quantity time is better than quality time.
10. I don't cook breakfast for my children every morning. Any morning. I keep a supply of bread for toast, cereal, frozen waffles, and minute oatmeal. 
11. The above sentence is a lie. I always have bread. The other stuff is at 75% of the time.
12. I spend inordinate amounts of time in the bathroom because it's the only place I can go alone.
13. I have hidden in my closet with a small carton of Ben and Jerry's and a spoon. I stopped when my children found my hiding spot.
14. My youngest child has been sleeping in our bed for the last 6 years.
15. My husband is sexually frustrated.
16. I have checked an older child out of school to babysit a younger child so I can take another to a doctor's appointment.

Judge me. Validate yourselves based on my shortcomings. Cherish the fact that you are a better parent than I am. Feel validated that you're not the only one. Whatever.

I wonder if this is how it feels to go to confession.

Now I am going to go toast some bread for a boy and get him to school before he has to check in at the office.