Skip to main content

Fair Weather Friends

Laura showed up at my house requesting books to read. I dragged her through my entire house, looking through my stacks until she had my very favorite books. She's a big reader and mentioned she would be having free time soon.

"Their dad got his own place and the kids are spending the WHOLE weekend and leaving me all by myself!" she delightedly informed me.

"Is that the same weekend I am leaving for Hawaii?" I asked. "I mean, since you won't have your kids, you could drive us to the airport!" I tried to use my best cheerleader voice to make it sound enticing.

"What day and time?"

"Sunday morning. We need to leave the house by 4:30. In the morning."

She cackled wickedly and ran out of my house. With my books.

Strike one.

At work I passed the assistant principal's office, a really nice guy. How nice? "Hey Tim! Do you want to take my husband and I to the airport on Sunday?"

He looked up with his usual smile. "Would it get me out of church?"

"Does your church start at 4:30 in the morning?"

"Nope. Good luck with finding someone!" Not that nice.

Strike two.


"My brother said he would take us to airport..." Scott informed me, slightly dragging out the last word of the sentence.

"He agreed to take us to the airport like you agreed to a vasectomy?" I clarified. His procedure agreement came with an elongated "I will..." and the implied, "But...since you're already going to give birth to our last child, don't you think it would be easier to just get your tubes tied then?" I did.

Strike three.


I really need to work on my cheerleader voice.

Comments

  1. Live From Mommyville...February 27, 2012 at 1:07 PM

    I did NOT cackle...I snorted. Big difference.

    ReplyDelete
  2. KayeFebruary 27, 2012 at 4:35 PM

    I taught her to snort. At Webelos. Where we also sang and danced to ABBA's Dancing Queen. Those boys may need counseling. Should I be offended that you didn't ask me? I would have volunteered my husband. . .

    ReplyDelete
  3. A Musing MotherFebruary 27, 2012 at 10:08 PM

    Snorting is an art Kaye has perfected. Laura did NOT snort. It was more like a shriek. Sorry I didn't ask you to volunteer Ed. I just wasn't thinking.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The Mommy MamboFebruary 28, 2012 at 8:05 PM

    Maybe you should offer Starbucks on the way. Oh wait....Starbucks isn't even open that early. Good luck hitch hiking at 4am! LOL

    This was a great post, btw. Witty.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Most Dreaded Words

 Everybody knows that Christmas is about keeping the Santa Secret and pleasing your children. Therefore, the most dreaded words are uttered on Christmas Eve. "I changed my mind, I want a [pony, scooter, bike, Red Rider BB gun]" A close second place winner is, "Can I have a New Year's Eve party?" Then, "Me, too?"
Post a Comment
Read more

Too Sick to be Sick

I am sick.  Really and truly sick.  I even took a sick day and felt no guilt whatsoever that maybe I wasn't sick enough to have a "sick day."  Because I am.  My 5 year old was sick, too so I took him to the doctor.  I refuse to acknowledge that I'm sick because I don't get sick.  So with absolute glee, my little boy climbed up onto the table, stuck out his tongue and conversed with the doctor.  I heard something about cloudy ears and antibiotics and then I just turned it off. It hurts when sound reaches my eardrums. We drove back home, I turned on the television, brought in the dog, and let the babysitting begin.  I crawled back into bed and swam somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness.  The kids came home from school.  I might have acknowledged them.  I made chicken noodle soup from scratch.  I couldn't even think.  My husband caught me in a sway and asked what he could do.  I grunted some terse instructi...
6 comments
Read more

What We Eat

Check out the good looking crew.  Just to clarify.  I'm the pretty one. There's a little mountain resort in Northern Utah that is invaded every July by this group of people. We are an intimidating bunch. 5 years ago my brother brought his Nepalese bride to the United States.  She lived in a country where she had no expectation to ever drive a car.  She bought her food daily from the market and ate it.  She taught English, although her accent was so strong when she arrived I questioned her grasp of the language.  We tried to be friendly and accepting.  We ended up scaring the daylights out of her. She thought we were crazy.  Her words, not mine. Although I think she tolerated me a little better than the others because I had the brand new fair-haired baby that she continued to steal.  She wanted a blond haired, blue eyed baby and wondered what her chances were now that she married an American. We take turns cooking for the family dinners. ...
6 comments
Read more