Skip to main content

Suburban Homesteader

I went to lunch with my dance friends on Saturday. It's been awhile so we had a lot to catch up. Kari and her husband are building a house together, her house sold, her ex-husband is planning his Wiccan wedding in Washington... you know, the usual.

I got to share my pictures of the family, recap the trip to Maui, my upcoming job transfer, my tiny breakdown leading to my chicken obsession, their demise and replacements. I was able to answer so many questions about the care and keeping of chickens that I would not have known until recently. I also announced my Mother's Day gift from my reluctant family.
Just in case there is any question, it is a wireless fence unit. In other words, Sunday the dog has a perimeter that is all hers. When she crosses that perimeter, she gets a zap on the neck. I set it up on Saturday, marking the perimeter with those white flags. I also accidentally dropped the plastic tester that fits on the shocking part of the collar and received a zap. I think it was good for me to experience it. It didn't hurt but it was definitely unpleasant. I don't want to repeat the experience.

I trained the dog on Sunday. She's a very fast learner. She is now terrified to go out the front door. My children and husband don't know if they are speaking to me anymore. My neighbors, however, like me a lot more. I might have friends. The jury is still out.

I have also added a new element to my suburban homesteading repertoire. A fertilizer that is supposed to have magical powers. 
 



Llama poo.

Forget Miracle Gro, steer manure, even grain fed Quarter horses. I've tried them all. The soil I brought in for grow boxes a few years ago has given me abysmal results. Llama poo, I am told, will solve all of my soil nutrient problems.

You may be asking where one might buy such a magical fertilizer. Simply go to the Hare Krishna temple nearest you and purchase by the yard or truckload. Better yet, KNOW someone who went to the Hare Krishna temple and bought excess and relieve him of his extra load (pun intended).

I feel that I may have just taken suburban homesteading to a whole new level. And no, I did not share this tidbit with my dance friends. It might just be a little too weird.

Comments

  1. Oh MAN! I wish I had known about the llama poo before I tore my garden boxes out in frustration - basically refusing to follow the prophet's counsel to plant a garden. Up in here in tater country we have llamas practically on every corner. Even though you're taking a blogging break, please keep us up to date on the llama poo progress.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pioneer Trek

Utah was founded by the Mormon pioneers in 1847 after enduring unimaginable losses and seeking a place of peace. July 24th marks the anniversary that the first wagon trains arrived in the Salt Lake Valley. Their numbers were greatly diminished by crossing the country in wagons and handcarts, dying of scurvy, tuberculous, malaria, starvation, unidentified fevers, and freezing to death. This, they found preferable to facing the extermination order put forth by Governor Boggs of Missouri. I believe this is the most courageous act of faith - to leave all they had that was familiar and travel the rough terrain in the unknown in search of a place where they could worship in peace. My daughters left this morning for a small re-creation of what the pioneers experienced. I don't love the idea since I know so many of the pioneers died but it is a way for many of the youth to connect to their ancestors and understand what many of the early members endured for their faith. The youth were asked...

How To Be A Dedicated Neurotic

Going through old files from graduate school, I found an invaluable pamphlet. Be a Dedicated Neurotic Remember the Past. . . and Regret it. Abhor the Present. Dread the Future. 1. Become preoccupied with the body, and make a long list of symptoms. Make them sound very clinical and professional... 2. BLAME your boss, your spouse, your partner, your neighbor, your kid. THEY are responsible for your miseries. 3. Feel trapped. You couldn't possibly declare your own independence without hurting someone's feelings. 4. Overeat. Rationalize and eat! Eat an insulated wall around yourself. Diet for a few days and say it doesn't work for you. 5. Self-pity. No matter what, feel sorry for yourself. Agonize over things about which no one cares. 6. Don't ever try. That way nobody can really accuse you of failure. You can always say, "But I could have done it." 7. Stress how shy you are. Insist that the world must come to you. You're special. 8. Your agg...

Flu

The flu has been making its way through our family.  The first to be hit was the 15 year old.  She was very, very angry.  At me.  She had been begging for the flu shot for the past three months.  I kept forgetting.  She got better but it's one more thing to discuss on her future therapist's couch. Today I picked up my 5 year old from school.  He told me about making valentine's for his friends and how he gave his valentine to his best friend, Chase.  Chase is the little boy who grabbed my scarf on my way to my car today, looked at me earnestly and yelled his telephone number to me so fast I couldn't process it then ran away. "Today I felt so sick." "Why didn't you call me to pick you up?" "I told Teacher but she didn't call you." "What did you say?" "I told her my head hurt and I felt dizzy." "What did she say?" "She told me I wasn't sick." I took mental note to talk to his teacher about c...