Skip to main content

Banned from Dinner

Prom is coming and my oldest daughter was asked a couple of days ago.

"This is the second date with this boy, isn't it? Make sure he doesn't try to kiss you," I advised. She blushed. "You know, Dad didn't kiss me for two years after we started dating." It was a lie and everybody knew it. They would have been wise to not push it.

"Whaddya mean?" my 13 year old son challenged. "You got married within a year of your first date!"

"Well," I amended, "he didn't kiss me on our honeymoon. We just had sex." I popped my next bite of dinner into my mouth. I heard a clatter of silverware. Four forks had been dropped on their plates. I little girl scream erupted from my 13 year old son's mouth and he ran out to the garage. My nearly 18 year old daughter blushed bright red. My 15 year old daughter put her face in her hands and muttered, "Why, Mom."

"Seriously? Do you not know where you came from?" I demanded. "What kind of mother would I be if I didn't educate you on the birds and the bees?"

I heard, "Uh, normal?"

I've been banned from eating dinner with the family. Prudes.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Braces!

13 year old got braces today! She also had a little helper on her.
Post a Comment
Read more

Wordful Wednesday and Clever Much? Rarely!

Sometimes my brilliance blinds me! Speaking of brilliance, before we continue this discussion, if you are my mother in law, stop reading. Walk away. At least until after Christmas. Seriously. My own mother doesn't read my blog. I think it has something to do with words like "socially awkward" and "mortifying." She knows me. She doesn't have to read about me. She can just pretend like I turned out normal. Anyway, if the mother-in-law has exited the website, check out what she's getting for Christmas! TADA! I'd like to give a special shout out to the internet and whatever site I was cruising through last week for planting this idea into my head. Usually not this creative and I definitely don't know where I got the energy to take the kids out for pictures. Or go to Walmart for the frame. And Robert's for the mat. Costco for the pictures.  Yeah, I painted the frame, too. So not my style. Anymore. I also ordered a canvas print for my husband but I...
7 comments
Read more

I am being published!

I know! It just reeks of excitement, doesn't it?  I know what you are thinking. "Who would publish that woman's thoughts?" The answer is a lovely little outfit called www.blog2print.com. In other words, I haven't been discovered. I am no closer to being a published author than I was yesterday EXCEPT that by Christmas I will be the proud owner of my very own blog book! I know. It's a little anticlimactic but here's the cool part. My friend, Becki, found me entertaining and directed me to a blog called www.josikilpack.blogspot.com.  She posted a little coupon code for 20% off which was supposed to end last week. Apparently, the code is still good and I saved $14. That said, you know it isn't exactly the cheapest way to get published but it's the best price I could find on publishing my blog!  And it requires very little technical know-how.  And that, my friends, tickles my heart. And, for a small price of your integrity and dignity, I will share the ...
18 comments
Read more