Google and Squirrels

I have a love/hate relationship with the internet. This media mode has trickled into every aspect of my life. I want to pay bills,I go to the computer. I want to know the weather for next Tuesday, I check the computer. I want to look at skirts at Dillards, I check the computer. I want to find out the definition of ubiquitous simply because the sound of the word as it rolls off my tongue is complicated yet fascinating, I'm back on the computer.

But that's what the internet is, you see. Ubiquitous.

I can open a window and find a recipe, carry this little netbook into the kitchen, start cooking and I'm opening other windows to shop for shoes or skirts while sautéing mushrooms.

This completely changes the definition of multitasking. Think about it. Back in the day, multitasking meant taking a copy of the Reader's Digest with you to the bathroom.

I hold Google personally responsible for my attention deficit disorder. I demand instant gratification. If the words don't pop out to me, I won't click on them. With any whim, I can whip open the computer and type in a phrase. BAM! That's what I was looking for! The words to Boston's "More Than a Feeling" because I just HAD to know right now and oh-my-golly now I'm feeling like I just need to hear some Boston so I run right over to playlist.com and search my favorite Boston songs and add them to my playlist. Speaking of Boston, I wonder when the marathon is and I'm off on some random tangent that I'd never pursue without the internet because I don't run marathons and why would I suddenly need to know when it is except now I'm thinking about my sister who ran the Red Rock Relay and I want to check someone from her team who adopted triplets so I'll just mosey on over to her blog.

I am so afflicted by "Up's" Dug and his propensity to stop midsentence and yell, "SQUIRREL!"

My laundry still needs to be folded. My kids still want to eat.

Speaking of which, I am completely amazed that my 4 year old played "Secret Agent" for FOUR HOURS last week. He was single minded. I was not so perfect. He obviously hasn't discovered Google or Sesame Street.

But I never have to remember anything. It's right at my fingertips. My dendrites have to learn new neuro pathways. Some of my important skills set are becoming obsolete; penmanship, memory, prose - who needs them? I don't need to know the Dewy Decimal system. I don't have to sing the alphabet song in my head while looking for a telephone number in the telephone book. I can join a book club and read "War and Peace" in 30 minutes on Spark Notes.

I've got Google.


SQUIRREL!