Skip to main content

It’s Going to Be a Long Year

While at work, I ran into a woman that works with my sister, also a school counselor. My sister just had her fourth baby, a beautiful baby boy, 2 weeks ago. I grabbed my phone to show her a photo. He's still covered in slime and cute as a button. I'm a proud aunt. Next year's assistant principal is standing nearby and peeking over my shoulder. I hand him my phone so he can admire my nephew.  The moment my hand released the phone is the moment I realize that the image is mostly baby Easton but a little bit of my sister's boob. I panicked. I made a screeching sound and hit my soon-to-be boss’s hand. My cell phone flew in the air, made a hard landing on the carpet and battery popped out just for good measure. It seemed like it all happened in slow motion. But then I look up from my battered phone to the face of my soon to be boss. His expression was incredulous and his face said, “You crazy woman. What WAS THAT?!” Telling the truth wasn’t even an option. I panicked and yelled the first thing that came to mind. “Tourette’s!” 

Did he buy it? I don’t know it doesn’t matter. I had no good “out” in this situation. I’m either the lady showing my pornographic images of her sister (Easton was breastfeeding) or I have Tourette’s. And that is how my new boss will see me. This should be interesting. And mortifying. 

Comments

  1. lmao...this is all super hilarious but you should totally get some rest.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tourettes!! Too funny. You crack me up.

    P.s. I love that the boy pops in with "He's single..." instead of looking at you horrified...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm sorry you're sleep deprived but Bwahahahahahahahaha! That was too funny!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm stealing the Tourette's thing. TOO funny!

    ReplyDelete
  5. OH....just fantastic.....you ARE funny.....the rest of us just try.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Man, I really miss you some days!

    ReplyDelete
  7. This just made my whole day!

    Thank you. Thank you very much!

    ReplyDelete
  8. hahah this was hilarious to read! I loved it!

    ReplyDelete
  9. That first one made me laugh out loud; and I'm pretty sure my ancestoral heritage is also lunacy (been out of touch so I got to read several posts at once)

    ReplyDelete
  10. This totally made my day. Made me feel like I'm not the only one out there playing catch with someone's masectomy prothesis. Oh whoops.

    Get some rest!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Braces!

13 year old got braces today! She also had a little helper on her.

They Call Me Grace

I was nearly 8 years old when my baby sister was born. This was quite fortunate since I was well adept at reading. I was tired of my name. Nancy. So plain. The Sunday comics included a comic strip called Nancy. She hung out with her stupid little boyfriend named Russell, was very boring and cried all the time. Why would parents who love their child name her such a boring name? I assumed they had run out of originality by this point. I was, after all, their third child. There was Mike, then Suzy, after me they had Joey (short for Joanne) and finally Jene Marie. The "j" a soft French slur. It was fitting. We had a French surname. But clearly Jene Marie was their crowning glory. Do I hate for taking all the love from my parents and hogging it for herself? Of course not. She's my sister. She's my baby sister. But if I happen to feel the need to speak to her when she's at work, I always ask for her by using both names; Jene Marie (with the schwa). I don't want her...

I am being published!

I know! It just reeks of excitement, doesn't it?  I know what you are thinking. "Who would publish that woman's thoughts?" The answer is a lovely little outfit called www.blog2print.com. In other words, I haven't been discovered. I am no closer to being a published author than I was yesterday EXCEPT that by Christmas I will be the proud owner of my very own blog book! I know. It's a little anticlimactic but here's the cool part. My friend, Becki, found me entertaining and directed me to a blog called www.josikilpack.blogspot.com.  She posted a little coupon code for 20% off which was supposed to end last week. Apparently, the code is still good and I saved $14. That said, you know it isn't exactly the cheapest way to get published but it's the best price I could find on publishing my blog!  And it requires very little technical know-how.  And that, my friends, tickles my heart. And, for a small price of your integrity and dignity, I will share the ...