Skip to main content

The Neighbor

We have new neighbors. I really hadn't met them yet but Scott had. They have four children ages 8, 6, 4, and 2. My 7 year old is in heaven.

Yesterday the 6 and 4 year old came over to play. After awhile the father, Travis, came to check on them. "Is Hayley here?" he asked. "Was she invited or did she just come over?" I was sitting in the living room so he couldn't see me but my 12 year old son gave the appropriate answers. Yes, Hayley was invited. In truth, I have no idea. In truth, I don't care. Come one, come all.

An hour later Travis showed up again. This time I answered the door and he got his first exposure to me.

"Hi. I'm Travis. James' dad. We're going out to eat now."

"Okay," I answered.

Pause.

"We're taking everybody to Olive Garden," he continued.

"Sounds great," I countered.

Pause.

"Not to be rude or anything but why are telling me this? Oh! Are you inviting me? Great! I'll go grab my shoes!"

Travis looked surprised and slightly uncomfortable. Fortunately, Scott came to the rescue. "The kids are downstairs. Nancy will go get them." I will? Oh. I will.

I returned to overhear Travis telling Scott what a nice neighborhood we have. "We're thinking we're going to put our roots down here but we really need to step up our game. It seems that everybody's pretty high quality around here. We're from rather rough stock," he admitted.

I jumped in. "Yes, everybody here really is pretty high quality." Beat. "By the way, I have a twin sister who lives here. Sometimes she chases the dog down the street, swearing. She's a little rough around the edges."

Travis looked a little confused and wary. Again, Scott came to the rescue. "Hey, your wife is backing out of the driveway. Have fun at Olive Garden!"

People just don't get me.

Comments

  1. I'm sure he was awed by your very presence, and was struck dumb by your wise, albeit snarky, comments.

    Baby steps...you'll teach that guy dry wit in no time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You will grow on them. It took me a while to get used to a butt pinch at work. But, I soon grew to expect it. I haven't had a Nancy pinch in years. What's wrong? You don't find me sexy anymore?

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL - we are THOSE neighbors :) And your comments are hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh Nancy you are a hoot!! So glad you are in the neighborhood. Poor
    Travis. He will learn in time.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL. but your husband does. he seems to rescue you often. hahahaha. love it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You may never go back and read this, but......................OK, I'm back--had to grab a tissue to wipe my eyes which were so full of laughing tears I couldn't see my monitor--just wanted you to know that I felt like I was in the room while you were meeting and conversing with Travis. Loved it. Loved it a lot. Laughed hard because I could just see it. You are a master at painting pictures with the written word. I hope you do read this, because I want you to know that.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Susan

    I read all the comments. Because I am shallow and need the validation. Still, poor Travis.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Most Dreaded Words

 Everybody knows that Christmas is about keeping the Santa Secret and pleasing your children. Therefore, the most dreaded words are uttered on Christmas Eve. "I changed my mind, I want a [pony, scooter, bike, Red Rider BB gun]" A close second place winner is, "Can I have a New Year's Eve party?" Then, "Me, too?"

Too Sick to be Sick

I am sick.  Really and truly sick.  I even took a sick day and felt no guilt whatsoever that maybe I wasn't sick enough to have a "sick day."  Because I am.  My 5 year old was sick, too so I took him to the doctor.  I refuse to acknowledge that I'm sick because I don't get sick.  So with absolute glee, my little boy climbed up onto the table, stuck out his tongue and conversed with the doctor.  I heard something about cloudy ears and antibiotics and then I just turned it off. It hurts when sound reaches my eardrums. We drove back home, I turned on the television, brought in the dog, and let the babysitting begin.  I crawled back into bed and swam somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness.  The kids came home from school.  I might have acknowledged them.  I made chicken noodle soup from scratch.  I couldn't even think.  My husband caught me in a sway and asked what he could do.  I grunted some terse instructi...

I Hate Pants

I wrote this on my Facebook page: Makayla just wandered upstairs and found me reading on the sofa, pants discarded, as usual. She laughed at me. I laughed at her. Then I realized that Makayla Jensen is not my daughter. Go home, Makayla! I'm not putting my pants back on just because you are here!  There are now two camps. People who agree with me and people who have absolutely no idea why anybody would discard pants upon entering home. Fortunately, I've found that I'm not in a camp all by myself. I found an article of 10 Reasons Why I Hate Pants: Best summed up by this Venn Diagram sent by Scott's cousin: