Skip to main content

The Neighbor

We have new neighbors. I really hadn't met them yet but Scott had. They have four children ages 8, 6, 4, and 2. My 7 year old is in heaven.

Yesterday the 6 and 4 year old came over to play. After awhile the father, Travis, came to check on them. "Is Hayley here?" he asked. "Was she invited or did she just come over?" I was sitting in the living room so he couldn't see me but my 12 year old son gave the appropriate answers. Yes, Hayley was invited. In truth, I have no idea. In truth, I don't care. Come one, come all.

An hour later Travis showed up again. This time I answered the door and he got his first exposure to me.

"Hi. I'm Travis. James' dad. We're going out to eat now."

"Okay," I answered.

Pause.

"We're taking everybody to Olive Garden," he continued.

"Sounds great," I countered.

Pause.

"Not to be rude or anything but why are telling me this? Oh! Are you inviting me? Great! I'll go grab my shoes!"

Travis looked surprised and slightly uncomfortable. Fortunately, Scott came to the rescue. "The kids are downstairs. Nancy will go get them." I will? Oh. I will.

I returned to overhear Travis telling Scott what a nice neighborhood we have. "We're thinking we're going to put our roots down here but we really need to step up our game. It seems that everybody's pretty high quality around here. We're from rather rough stock," he admitted.

I jumped in. "Yes, everybody here really is pretty high quality." Beat. "By the way, I have a twin sister who lives here. Sometimes she chases the dog down the street, swearing. She's a little rough around the edges."

Travis looked a little confused and wary. Again, Scott came to the rescue. "Hey, your wife is backing out of the driveway. Have fun at Olive Garden!"

People just don't get me.

Comments

  1. I'm sure he was awed by your very presence, and was struck dumb by your wise, albeit snarky, comments.

    Baby steps...you'll teach that guy dry wit in no time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You will grow on them. It took me a while to get used to a butt pinch at work. But, I soon grew to expect it. I haven't had a Nancy pinch in years. What's wrong? You don't find me sexy anymore?

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL - we are THOSE neighbors :) And your comments are hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh Nancy you are a hoot!! So glad you are in the neighborhood. Poor
    Travis. He will learn in time.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL. but your husband does. he seems to rescue you often. hahahaha. love it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You may never go back and read this, but......................OK, I'm back--had to grab a tissue to wipe my eyes which were so full of laughing tears I couldn't see my monitor--just wanted you to know that I felt like I was in the room while you were meeting and conversing with Travis. Loved it. Loved it a lot. Laughed hard because I could just see it. You are a master at painting pictures with the written word. I hope you do read this, because I want you to know that.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Susan

    I read all the comments. Because I am shallow and need the validation. Still, poor Travis.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pioneer Trek

Utah was founded by the Mormon pioneers in 1847 after enduring unimaginable losses and seeking a place of peace. July 24th marks the anniversary that the first wagon trains arrived in the Salt Lake Valley. Their numbers were greatly diminished by crossing the country in wagons and handcarts, dying of scurvy, tuberculous, malaria, starvation, unidentified fevers, and freezing to death. This, they found preferable to facing the extermination order put forth by Governor Boggs of Missouri. I believe this is the most courageous act of faith - to leave all they had that was familiar and travel the rough terrain in the unknown in search of a place where they could worship in peace. My daughters left this morning for a small re-creation of what the pioneers experienced. I don't love the idea since I know so many of the pioneers died but it is a way for many of the youth to connect to their ancestors and understand what many of the early members endured for their faith. The youth were asked...

How To Be A Dedicated Neurotic

Going through old files from graduate school, I found an invaluable pamphlet. Be a Dedicated Neurotic Remember the Past. . . and Regret it. Abhor the Present. Dread the Future. 1. Become preoccupied with the body, and make a long list of symptoms. Make them sound very clinical and professional... 2. BLAME your boss, your spouse, your partner, your neighbor, your kid. THEY are responsible for your miseries. 3. Feel trapped. You couldn't possibly declare your own independence without hurting someone's feelings. 4. Overeat. Rationalize and eat! Eat an insulated wall around yourself. Diet for a few days and say it doesn't work for you. 5. Self-pity. No matter what, feel sorry for yourself. Agonize over things about which no one cares. 6. Don't ever try. That way nobody can really accuse you of failure. You can always say, "But I could have done it." 7. Stress how shy you are. Insist that the world must come to you. You're special. 8. Your agg...

Flu

The flu has been making its way through our family.  The first to be hit was the 15 year old.  She was very, very angry.  At me.  She had been begging for the flu shot for the past three months.  I kept forgetting.  She got better but it's one more thing to discuss on her future therapist's couch. Today I picked up my 5 year old from school.  He told me about making valentine's for his friends and how he gave his valentine to his best friend, Chase.  Chase is the little boy who grabbed my scarf on my way to my car today, looked at me earnestly and yelled his telephone number to me so fast I couldn't process it then ran away. "Today I felt so sick." "Why didn't you call me to pick you up?" "I told Teacher but she didn't call you." "What did you say?" "I told her my head hurt and I felt dizzy." "What did she say?" "She told me I wasn't sick." I took mental note to talk to his teacher about c...