Skip to main content

Twelve years ago today I was fat.

Twelve years ago tomorrow I put on my husband's red polo shirt, struggled into my blue, stretchy pants and waited. I had carefully scheduled my pitocin drip and induction and some crazy fat girls had bumped me because they had actually gone into labor. Spoiled brats. I'd been walking around dilated to 6 cm. and 80% effaced for over three weeks. Did they not understand that once I started labor, I'd be dropping that baby in the car?

By early afternoon I was anxious and bored. I announced to my husband and two and a half year old daughter that I was going to buy a baby book. I drove to a small town store (the small town where I now live but is no longer small) and perused. My pager went off. It was my obstetrician.

"Excuse me," I calmly said to the clerk in the red and white checkered shirt, "May I borrow your phone? I think I'm going to have my baby now." Her pleasant features paled and she frantically started looking for a chair.

One hour later, we waltzed into the hospital, passing the women having contractions. Actually, I backed in and, with a smile on my face, insisted on that epidural, thank you. Pitocin followed closely behind.

An hour and a half later, Samantha made her debut; dainty and perfect, she was all girl as she entered the world with one hand raised to her ear like a wave from a parade float. Destined to be a beauty queen.

She's outgrown her acid reflux, her mother's fashion taste, and all of her shoes. She's taken her place as the second daughter, the older sister, and the true artist of the family. She's smart, sassy, and still the beauty queen.

Happy Birthday, Sam!

Comments

  1. Maggie MayOctober 20, 2009 at 9:48 PM

    I love it! She's got a great smile and a great name :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. shortmamaOctober 20, 2009 at 10:24 PM

    Happy birthday to your girl!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Liz @ Sugarplum CreationsOctober 20, 2009 at 10:54 PM

    This is too sweet! Happy Birthday to your sweet Sam! Amazing how quickly time passes.

    ReplyDelete
  4. HilloriOctober 21, 2009 at 12:05 AM

    My Ashton was born that way too, with both hands up by his head, waving. Kind of like he was diving. The nurses thought it was cute...me, I thought it hurt. Happy Birthday to a beautiful girl!

    ReplyDelete
  5. DG at Diary of a Mad BathroomOctober 21, 2009 at 4:13 AM

    Happy birthday to both of you. Why is it that we don't celebrate the mom that gave birth to the birthday person as well?

    ReplyDelete
  6. ChristaOctober 21, 2009 at 5:58 AM

    awww, that's so sweet. And I laughed so hard about your pager... how the world has changed in such a short time!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kristina P.October 21, 2009 at 8:12 AM

    Happy birthday to Sam!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Trac~October 21, 2009 at 9:04 AM

    AWWW....... she's SO CUTE! Happy birthday, Sam! :o)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lisa Page RosenbergOctober 21, 2009 at 10:09 AM

    Happy Birthday to Sam.
    Your family turns out some fine looking ladies.

    (Did that sound creepy? Didn't mean that to sound creepy. Girls are pretty.)

    ReplyDelete
  10. FoursonsOctober 21, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    She is GORGEOUS! And oh my word- 6 cm and 80% effaced for 3 weeks?! I did 3 cm and 40% but you have me beat by a long shot!

    ReplyDelete
  11. HeidiOctober 21, 2009 at 12:07 PM

    Funny how kids think the actual Birth Day is all about them, when really it's about a woman whose life was changed forever on that day.

    ReplyDelete
  12. .:Anna:.October 21, 2009 at 6:22 PM

    Aw happy birthday!

    (The faster you out grow your shoes the sooner you get new ones)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Mamma ChristineOctober 22, 2009 at 2:48 AM

    You're a great story teller. I love reading your blog. "12 years ago today I was fat" Such a great first line! Happy Belated Birthday Sam!

    ReplyDelete
  14. GinaOctober 22, 2009 at 3:53 PM

    I have to agree with Mamma Christine. You start your stories with such funny sentences that drag the reader in whether they like it or not. Your blog is one of the funniest I read and it all about how you write more so than what you write about. I swear if you were locked up in a square cell for a month you would still think of a witty story....!

    ReplyDelete
  15. A Musing Mom (Taylorclan6)October 22, 2009 at 6:26 PM

    I am blushing. And grateful.

    ReplyDelete
  16. The MomOctober 25, 2009 at 6:51 AM

    Very nice! Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Braces!

13 year old got braces today! She also had a little helper on her.
Post a Comment
Read more

Christmas Gifts

Jill is the slice of home baked pie you long for. Her dad was a farmer. His dad was a farmer. On a hot summer day Jill would call me up to go floating down the canal or ride the slick rocks with the stream into a barely thawed pool of water. She's also the girl I called one day when I was bored and offered to drive two hours and try out this new thing called "Bungee Jumping." We did although I can't remember why . The first year after my college graduation I found myself particularly low on pride.  First of all, I was a college graduate working as a sales clerk.  Too late I discovered that a bachelors degree in sociology is equal to a high school diploma and, in some cases, a G.E.D. and got you hired at JC Penney trying to upsale with a colorful scarf.  On top of it, I'd been dumped.  It wasn't that he was the love of my life.  In fact, it was quite the opposite.  He started planning the wedding aloud and I freaked out, pointing out that we'd only bee...
17 comments
Read more

They Call Me Grace

I was nearly 8 years old when my baby sister was born. This was quite fortunate since I was well adept at reading. I was tired of my name. Nancy. So plain. The Sunday comics included a comic strip called Nancy. She hung out with her stupid little boyfriend named Russell, was very boring and cried all the time. Why would parents who love their child name her such a boring name? I assumed they had run out of originality by this point. I was, after all, their third child. There was Mike, then Suzy, after me they had Joey (short for Joanne) and finally Jene Marie. The "j" a soft French slur. It was fitting. We had a French surname. But clearly Jene Marie was their crowning glory. Do I hate for taking all the love from my parents and hogging it for herself? Of course not. She's my sister. She's my baby sister. But if I happen to feel the need to speak to her when she's at work, I always ask for her by using both names; Jene Marie (with the schwa). I don't want her...
22 comments
Read more